Audio: Ellie Revisited (part 1)

Last fall I did a long interview with Ellie Schoenberger for my weekly sober podcast thingy.

you know Ellie, right? She’s big in the sobriety world. She’s one of the founders of The Bubble Hour and the website Crying Out Now.

Well this week I had the opportunity to speak with her again, and she’s now one year sober 🙂 hooray.

And yes, we talk about everything, including the expense of treatment, the anger, the feelings of being overwhelmed, and how to hit the giant pause button on life. And there’s lots of laughing, too.

Since the entire conversation runs long, I’ve divided it up into pieces. Here’s an extract from part 1, it’s 3 minutes long.

Please leave a comment after you listen to the extract … so that i know you’re out there.

Click below to listen:

listen2click here to try a podcast subscription (1 month trial) – and of course, when you get bored of me, you can cancel whenever you want


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • What a powerful segment. Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin resonates deeply. I evaluate all of my thoughts and actions multiple multiple times in order to suss out what I’m really feeling. It’s like learning how to walk with new legs. I’ve had 90, 60, 30 days before. This time feels different. I’m only at Day 17, but I’ve done many years of “drinking research”. The last few months I’ve been drinking while knowing without a doubt I have a problem and I must get sober if I’m going to have any kind of a life. If I pick up a drink again, inevitably I’ll end up right back where I’ve been one hundred times before- trying to get sober again. I don’t want another Day 1.
    Wonderful interview! I needed to hear it today. The similarities are so strong; I don’t feel so alone when I hear Ellie describe her journey. Thanks Belle 🙂

  • I find the thought of going back to drinking so terrifying that listening to this was really painful. Knowing that Ellie was sober for long enough to get her life on a successful tragectory and still drink – that means I could too and I so don’t want to. I don’t know if a day comes when we can allow ourselves to feel ‘Safely Sober’ as opposed to just Sober; I’d like to think so, but in the meantime I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing to stay on track.

    • i think what you do, is you stay close to your sober supports. don’t drift. there is a ‘safely sober’ place, i think. but that place has supports. if you listen to our November conversation, you’ll learn more about ‘what happened’ and what she taught me about being ‘safely sober’.

  • Wow, this is very timely.I have been sober now for a little over a year, I have used my sobriety to “catch up” with life, participating in anything and everything I can be a part of. Just recently I realized that I am still running from my feelings. Staying busy provides little time to take care of me.I picked up a book called; “Zen Mind, Beginners Mind” and just yesterday I actually copied a quote from the book to my inbox to reflect on. “Our addictive behavior is the root of all suffering.” Thanks for the podcast. Hugs, Phoebe

  • I finally got to listen to a podcast. I can relate to being busy all the time. I have a full-time job and a side business and I am able to literally work all the time if I want to. I hide in my work because I don’t know how to live my life sober. I’m fine if I am busy with work or the kids, or a passive activity like reading or a movie, but I don’t know how to just be. I feel edgy and anxious, like I want to bolt but I don’t know where to run. Real or imagined, I feel like everywhere I go, people are drinking around me. At 9 months, I no longer get the crippling physical urges when I see others drinking but without it, many things feel boring and pointless, as if alcohol masks the utter hedonistic uselessness of many of our activities – social parties, street fairs, group dinners, etc. I need something but I am not sure what.