i feel like i won the academy award

it’s not every day you get an email like this … holy.

from my inbox:

Alescha (day 100):

Dear Belle… dot dot dot; infinity dot dot dot. Because thank you doesn’t seem adequate, but its all I have without sounding cheesy and flowery and possibly insincere…. And, believe me, I have no insincere tone when it comes to you. I am the sincerest when it comes to the gratefulness I have for you bringing me this far. And I know you may say You did it; this is you doing it….etc.’. But YOU helped me; got me here. And I am so thankful. I feel like I won the academy award or whatever it is you win for best movie, best song….you’re standing up there on stage; you open the envelope, and call my name. I sit there, in shock, surrounded by my family, all smiling and crying and happy for me. And I cant believe I came this far. I stand up to come and meet you on the stage. You smile; but not with shock.  You have the look of ‘I’ knew you were going to win…..’ I take the shiny award. And all I can do is cry and say thank you. Thank you to everyone who supported me and believed in me. To enable ME to believe in myself. I think of others on the same journey, who may be alone and without support….and my heart goes out. I know if I meet one, it will be easy to love them and help and I hope I have that golden opportunity. I think of the thousands of people you have helped, and try to give the award back to you.  You deserve the award. But you wont hear of it. You whisper, ‘This is You, doing this. You did it. I just cheered you on.’  And all that other “sh*t belle says’. ^_~.

I look at you for the longest time; without words….just a knowing look that passes between us. You know things. You have been there. Day 1. Day 50. Day 100. And all those other days between and beyond. You know. And its easy for you to give love to others who have the same shoes.  Cute shoes, btw.  ^_~.

And I walk back to my family; my fan club. They embrace me with hugs and wet kisses, and wordless love; my favorite kind. We go home. I put my award in a prominent place to remember….

The journey isn’t over.  It has just begun.  And I’m doing it. And you are permanently impressed upon my heart.  You will never leave.  I will have you always.  And I am so very grateful.

Thank you, Belle, thank you.  A million times over and some more after that. Thank you.

Lovelove alescha
The winner


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • A lovely sentiment 🙂 I’m already feeling quite humbled and grateful for the support in the community, and I’m only at day 38… it’s wonderful to have the joy of day 100 to look forward to.

  • Yeah!!!!!!! Congratulations and cheers. Very touching and very true. I feel the same, though I’m not so far along as you. If it weren’t for all the help and support, I couldn’t do this either. It makes all the difference to know that someone believes in you, especially at first when you can’t believe in yourself. You go on faith that they are right. And when they are, and then you too can believe, the joy and happy tears are so worth all the hard parts. It is so true, it’s the journey and all the little triumphs along the way, not the destination.

  • Awww… this is so eloquent! Must’ve made your day :).

    Makes me think… there SHOULD be an award ceremony for sobriety. We could all dress up in ball gowns and walk the red carpet. Paparazzi will scream out, “Who are you wearing?” and they’d snap our pictures. It’d be fabulous :).

  • That is why you are unique Belle. Who else gets amazingly inspiring beautiful emails like that? And you must have many virtual awards around the world – I know you have one in my heart 🙂
    And massive congratulations Alescha, that is so fabulous xx

  • Wow. What an email! You totally deserve this love flowing to you! Your a blessing and inspiration to so many. Who knew you were handing out sober awards 🙂 so much love.
    Miss M