from my inbox:
Veronica: “Hi Belle, So… I suck. I drank on xx, and then every night after. I’m really sorry — I don’t mean to waste your time with this starting over nonsense. I’m going to try again this weekend. I’ll send you a note with my start date and homework in the next couple of days. I loved your post about changing the behavior, btw. Boy, you nailed it for me with the perfectionist mentality. I’m going to try to just do it this time without all the thinking and scheming and crap. Maybe this time it will stick :)”
me: … the other thing I can suggest is dumping a LOT of supports on in the beginning. add 10 things. then when you have 30-60 days sober, you can slowly remove the extra supports you don’t need. we have a tendency of trying to find the most efficient way – and sometimes it uses up valuable time. here’s a list of things, just choose the things that you find the least heinous 🙂 http://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/2013/09/11/what-could-you-add/
Veronica: That’s really great advice. Thank you. I know the accountability and feeling of camaraderie from going to AA meetings really helped me the first time I got sober. And you’re right — I didn’t need it after a few months (which is funny, because I caught a really hard time from people in the program for not going to enough meetings after 60-90 days). I don’t want to go back to AA, but I should add some other support this time. Thanks for the link and the list. You’re awesome!”
[update: she’s on day 90 today!]
Yes, very good ideas! I tried and failed many times because I really didn’t believe in myself. This time: I changed my thinking. I read Jason Vale. I got a sober pen pal. I made plans and met with a lady from Living Sober when I was in her town on vacation. (that was really a good tool!). I have read and commented on various blogs/posts on a daily basis. I am on day 92. I still feel very vulnerable but I am looking forward to triple digits!
When you’re right, you’re right. Thanks for linking the changing the behaviors post also. It’s all so true