from my inbox:
A: “Day 4. I saw a nutritionist today, she’s kind of like a therapist as well. She’s the only real life person (apart from my husband) who knows about my [drinking]. She said that I was getting too obsessed with sobriety, that I kept failing, and that if I didn’t worry so much about it, I could not drink during the week and then drink moderately at the weekend. That’s what really threw me today. I really believed her, and wondered if I was making a huge fuss about all this, and should I think about something else. Not sure what to do.”
me: jesus. there’s someone who doesn’t know much about sobriety 🙂 you’ll probably want to take your sobriety advice from someone who’s (a) sober and/or (b) someone who works specifically with addictions (and booze in particular). a nutritionist giving that kind of advice is shameful in my opinion. if you’re worried about your drinking, *and you were brave enough to tell her*, she should support what you’re trying to do. good god. you want to quit drinking because you know you’ll feel better. and if it was easy to quit (or to not obsess) you’d have done that already. that it’s hard to quit means there’s more going on here than “let’s just moderate, shall we?” oh I could go on. but I won’t 🙂 lordy.
from Fluffy: I’ve just read that post about that nutritionalist stating the person was more or less making too much of the sobriety thing!! I have come across things like this Belle, where people or articles suggest it’s basically not worth it and its linked to being a perfectionist, I know I feel better without alcohol and that’s enough for me. I didn’t drink lots just enough for the buzz and as you know it’s been hard to stop and Wolfie says things like that nutritionalist which makes you think it’s too hard and not worth it, these people are so not helpful Belle and it’s got my goat a bit this morning :@ Not drinking at all makes you free from the voice that goes on, it’s never about how much you drink, Also you get back, money, love, energy and time, I read that from you Belle in my early days…. Some people will never get it !! Sorry to rant a bit, but you did say I could e mail you more heh heh xx Hugs from Fluffy”
“Normies” mostly don’t understand the issue of addiction. They may mean well but they’re giving advice from their own perspective. What’s so hard about moderating? To them it really isn’t an issue. Your best advice is from another who has successfully beat Wolfie back and moved on to a happier, fuller life without alcohol.
Even my doctor told me some of her other patients just drink on weekend with their hubbies! So I thought, Okay, I can do that!
i think a lot of people react that way to anyone who doesn’t fit the image of a stereotypical alcoholic (I was one iof those people ). I think it comes from a good place and I can understand why thy feel the need to impart this advice, because the stress of early sobriety is very easy to mistake for perfectionist neurosis. But they don’t get it. I agree with belle. It never fails to amaze me how many people try to talk you out of sobriety when it seems like, unless you’re having DTs, a choice that has many good possibilities and zero bad. If you’ve made your decision, you have to state it firmly with these kind of people and make it clear that this is your decision and you are firm in that
so true, belle
I imagine the nutritionist sees so many people who want to set hard-and-fast rules for themselves around food/drink, and end up failing miserably, that the nutritionist warns people against that type of behavior. I’ll bet that the nutritionist is also putting alcohol in the category of “food/drink,” when for the writer, it’s in the category of “drug.”
I wonder if the writer has explained the full extent of her problem with alcohol to the nutritionist. Because lots of people are capable of “cutting back,” just like the nutritionist suggested, although the writer clearly isn’t one of those people, and may need to make that extremely clear.
Oh sure, because moderation has worked so well for all of us in the past….NOT!!!
Some people just have no concept of what an addictive personality is. They don’t get that for some of us it truly is all or nothing and there are no shades of gray!
Some people are so bloody irresponsible in the advise they give. The nutritionist should have shown loving support for this lady.
thank you for sharing this. I can’t believe the nutritionist had that advice. Good thing you were there to call the situation like it is.
I had similar advice from a naturpath.
Then she provide me with s herbal tonic that was mainly alcohol.
I was pretty clear I was sober and could not drink.
Not everyone listens.
I hope she actually knows something about nutrition. She obviously doesn’t know anything about quitting drinking. Perhaps you should find another nutritionist to work with. you need a strong support system for your sober journey. Just my opinion of course. Wishing you all the best . Hugs, Margy