no plan b. yet.

this post has been edited

On Friday night, Mail Chimp said no to our pleas for sponsorship.

“We appreciate the urgency of your readers and recognize that your work is very important. However, at this time we’re unable to help with your podcast. Though we understand unique value of service you provide, it’s currently outside of our purview of sponsorship.”

I said to Mr. B: “my problem now is I don’t have a Plan B. I’m not already on itunes so I can’t show existing subscription numbers (which is what an advertiser wants). So if i move to itunes now i’ll need to do it for 3-9 months to get numbers. Or I keep things as is. Or I get a benefactor who can donate 3 months of podcast revenue so that I can do it for free… or …”

and husband nods, pats my head and says … wait for it …

“so it’s not this. you’ll have another idea tomorrow.”

By the end of Saturday night I decided to give myself a break, and to wait until January to begin to figure out how to change things. but you can be sure i’m still trying to figure this out.~

Sunday morning I did a long run (back up to 55 minutes for the first time since i was sick last year). It was a perfect sunny day. i listened to a recovery podcast. I had bacon and eggs and decaf and mandarines for breakfast (husband ate 9 mandarines in one day). I made cake with pear and almonds.

I don’t know what Plan B is. and that’s OK. It’ll come to me.

I just have to be patient. Ha. I suck at patient. You?

Edit:  I know it’s easy to think of me just giving up the podcast subscription for 3 months to see what happens. I talked about that with my husband, too. I wasn’t sure that itunes was the right thing, then I got caught up in wanting mailchimp to sponsor. I emailed them, they didn’t answer, I thought we could convince them, now I see that it’s a whole other thing entirely, the sponsorship thing. I’ve read all the comments about the podcasts and I feel sad that i can’t do more! I feel like I already do a lot ‘for free’ on the site and while a few things generate revenue, I can’t really take on doing more for free right now.

while i appreciate everyone’s concerns, please realize that there is no roadmap on how to do this. there is no right way. there is only what i feel is best at any give time.

because the most important thing is that I stay underwhelmed. my sobriety is important to me. so plans (at least for me, at least for now) need to move stepwise from A to B easily, or they don’t move at all (for now).


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I agree with Orchid. You do DO so much for free.
    The inspiration provided by your podcasts are priceless!
    You should get compensated.
    Great job on the run bty-55 minutes of running and I wouldn’t be walkin right for days:)

  • Husband is right: wait. And be patient. Ha ha, this says someone who could have invented impatience. When I read the comments, we all ‘suffer’ from that. It’s not bad at all, but now, take the holiday season for a kind of rest. Within two weeks nothing (business) will happen until the first week of January so… One day you wake up and you will have a new idea. You don’t have to think about it all day, it’s working in and with you. The beautiful magic of life! Bake and eat cakes, run, have fun. Hugs!

  • Belle,

    Stop chewing yourself up so much. You do sooo much for free. Your podcasts cost peanuts and bear in mind if the person has stopped drinking they probably can now afford them. I regard them as my treat as I sooo look forward to them and monthly subscription is cheaper than chocolate and better for me.I would perfer them to remain like this as opposed to me having to go elsewhere for them.



  • Hi Belle, I think the most important sentence of that post is the bottom one. Your own sobriety comes first. Don’t get stressed out. Plan B will come (Or is plan B already happening…leave things as they are for a bit?). Something will come up, it always does. These podcasts do not need to be free for us. I value them more if I pay for them. Paying money to you so I can stop drinking is a commitment to stop in itself. Paying you for the work you do means (hopefully) you can continue to do it. L Putting Down the Glass

  • Belle, God knows you give and have given plenty for free, you don’t owe anyone anything, let plan b, be to stay as you are, and the world will turn and people will get the podcasts as they need or want them, H

  • You do so much for free already for so many people. That is probably the perfect answer Belle – just to keep things the way they are – at least for now. Enjoy the holiday season and no need to feel badly at all! Thank you for all you do!

  • Patience? Nope I don’t have that either. I really wish I understood more about podcasts and sponsors and that I could help with plan b. All I know about podcasts is that I love yours! I agree that the answer will come in time.

  • I feel bad you had stewed on it all alone all weekend and had funky crappy days. . . at least your running is increasing! Thats great. Fundraising is hard, development never happens on the first try. Just like getting sober rarely happens on the first try.

    I think we sober girls might help you brainstorm on it by throwing some ideas out there for you at least.

    It’s not a selfish endeavor. iTunes Podcasts would increase the accessibility to your podcasts for people in need. Also, it’s important to get paid for your unique talents. Believe me, no one wants to hear me doing a podcast ~ I hate to see folks work for free, it’s called being taken advantage of, I know b/c I let people do it to me all the time. That’s why I have be run them over with my sober car . . . or I get overwhelmed and resentful. Now, I wouldn’t know that if it wasn’t for your podcasts.

    What about Kickstarter? Perhaps the 3-9 month of revenue could be raised there and you could get the necessary numbers for a sponsor after that.
    Write to Oprah?

    • i wasn’t alone 🙂 i was with my husband and he’s a great support. and like i said, i’m giving this a rest now till january. The universe will deliver an answer to me. It’ll be later, that’s all…

  • There is a plan B … it’s a book by Anne Lamott on Faith … her sequel to Traveling Mercies … and about recovery.

  • Is there someone else other than mailchimp who can sponsor you? Maybe someone who follows your blog has an “in” somewhere? Sorry that it didn’t go as planned/hoped

  • I do not understand the ‘cost’ of getting the iTunes. Why do we need sponsor? How much are we talking here? People want exposure. What about the pill pharma companies who sell the stop drinking meds???? They have deep pockets. They are kinda new. IS that a conflict in your mind? Not in mind.

    • yes, you’re right. you’re pointing out my selfishness. The cost of going to itunes, which is a FREE distribution platform, is that I would lose the revenue i’m generating now because now it is a paid subscription. So if i had a sponsor to replace that income, it’d be a no-brainer. I’m unlikely to have a company sponsor me unless it’s something i have used or approve of myself. since this is my thing, I get to decide what kinds of affiliations I want to have – if any. an email distribution software seemed non-political. a drug company? not so much.

      Like I said, no Plan B yet.