“you’ve lost nothing but gained everything by not drinking”

from my inbox

Aaron (day 169): “I’m doing SO good, Belle. The real key for me has been to see alcohol in its real light, without all the bullshit hype that almost all people in America put on it. It’s an addictive poisonous drug, and I became addicted to it. I don’t blame myself anymore; I was just as much a victim of the drug as anybody. I don’t even refer to myself as an “alcoholic” because that word has so much stigma and 100 different people will have 100 different definitions for it. It’s like I was a drug addict, in the same way that people who smoke cigarettes are. Or people who can’t function without caffeine; or people who can’t sleep without the aid of a sleeping pill … I’m seeing things in their real light without brainwashing and it’s been extremely powerful.

Alcohol did nothing for me, but in my mind I thought I couldn’t live without it. If I begin to look at sobriety as “giving up” something (namely, alcohol) I get this sort of “dry drunk” syndrome and I get unhappy. But when I simply rejoice at being free from a drug that single-handedly decimated 6 years of my life, it’s WAY easier. As you well know, that joy never decreases or goes away if you feed it with knowledge everyday — the knowledge that you’ve lost nothing but gained everything by not drinking. I love being sober and I love this new life. (Yes, I’ve become a little preachy about it, but so what? Lol)  :)”

[and just to note, A. is 26 yrs old … holy i want to be smart like him when i grow up!]

from me:

dining room table has been turned over. had breakfast there today after my sunday long run. rainy. now i’m making spaghetti sauce. i sound like i have it all together. i’m sober so yes i can put a checkmark in that box. the rest is still a work in progress. like, you should see my filing.

from me part 2:

I’ve been asked to record some Sober Rescue Audios that you can listen to when you’re having a crappy day. Audio #1 is called “Wolfie is right here.” Other audios include “I suck at life” … “Who’s going to help me?” … “The straw of support”… and “Go to bed.” You can sign up here. You can save the audios to your hard drive, and listen to them over and over again. For when you need a Sober Rescue 🙂




I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Great job Aaron! I love the positive spin on not using the definition alcoholic. That’s how I feel and I didn’t have the words to describe it. You wrote that beautifully.
    And I love the idea of rescue podcasts!!! I got my favorite podcast in my inbox this morning – the lighthouse analogy one.