From my inbox:
mmhicks12: “I saw my counselor on Friday. He said I need to loosen up, laugh more, enjoy life a little more lighthearted. He even mentioned having red wine with friends … I almost took that as my get out of jail free card. I recognized that was Wolfie. Now today I am so upset with my BIL’s stupid decisions. He is staying with us to get on his feet. Yet he bought a car … I feel like I should drink to relax myself and be able to speak rationally about it. But right now I am seeing red.”
me: and so now you can ask your BIL to move out. he’s clearly on his feet enough to buy vehicles. you can give him 10 days to figure out where to go next 🙂 ok. I’m not a counsellor. clearly. but also, any therapist who tells you to drink is [perhaps] ridiculous. I know he probably ‘means’ well, but if you’ve already said that booze was an issue, which is a very brave thing to do, then the next time you see him you can say “I’m not drinking, and I’d like your support on that, otherwise I can’t see this time with you being very successful for me.” or you can say something kinder. I feel mad on your behalf 🙂 no wonder you’re seeing red. you’re taking care of you and you’re surrounded by wieners…
mmhicks12: “I did not drink. My husband gave his brother a move out date … I realized that if I gave in and drank I would ultimately be giving my power away to feelings of anger and frustration over decisions that I cannot control. The only decisions that I control are my own. And I decided to not throw away my momentum and mindset and not drink.
Thank you for the quick reply. You were right with me ‘telling on my Wolfie’ — it really helped, and not to mention I am surrounded by wieners. That made me laugh.”