From my inbox:
mmhicks12: “I saw my counselor on Friday. He said I need to loosen up, laugh more, enjoy life a little more lighthearted. He even mentioned having red wine with friends … I almost took that as my get out of jail free card. I recognized that was Wolfie. Now today I am so upset with my BIL’s stupid decisions. He is staying with us to get on his feet. Yet he bought a car … I feel like I should drink to relax myself and be able to speak rationally about it. But right now I am seeing red.”
me: and so now you can ask your BIL to move out. he’s clearly on his feet enough to buy vehicles. you can give him 10 days to figure out where to go next š ok. I’m not a counsellor. clearly. but also, any therapist who tells you to drink is [perhaps] ridiculous. I know he probably ‘means’ well, but if you’ve already said that booze was an issue, which is a very brave thing to do, then the next time you see him you can say “I’m not drinking, and I’d like your support on that, otherwise I can’t see this time with you being very successful for me.” or you can say something kinder. I feel mad on your behalf š no wonder you’re seeing red. you’re taking care of you and you’re surrounded by wieners…
mmhicks12:Ā “I did not drink. My husband gave his brother a move out date … I realized that if I gave in and drank I would ultimately be giving my power away to feelings of anger and frustration over decisions that I cannot control. The only decisions that I control are my own. And I decided to not throw away my momentum and mindset and not drink.
Thank you for the quick reply. You were right with me ‘telling on my Wolfie’ — it really helped, and not to mention I am surrounded by wieners. That made me laugh.”
Life is full of wieners, some will drive you close to the edge but yeah, don’t give wieners and their actions power over our sobriety-we are in charge of that all by ourselves.
I’m 12 weeks sober today and I very nearly bought a bottle of red wine. Because I was stuck in traffic for 2.5 hours on my way home from work. TAKE THAT universe, local government who are doing road works, village with bad parking habits. Now you’ll be sorry – I’m getting drunk.
Well maybe not… I read Belle on my phone in the car and now I’m in my PJ’s eating my dinner. And I am planning my next sober treat.
Super well done for not hurting yourself MM. And good for hubbie too.
Nice comment Crystal Light
reading me on the phone in the car … ha. Iām in your pocket. Iām there all the time. Iām stalking you online. are you sober? good š
Great job on thinking it all through and using your support tool box. Life is full of ups and downs that will never change. Having a drink will change all that you have worked toward. Keep it up and don’t let others take you down with them !
That took some real focus and conviction to not turn to the bottle in the heat of some very f—ed up nonsense. Congratulations on taking care of yourself.
LD
“if I gave in and drank I would ultimately be giving my power away to feelings of anger and frustration over decisions that I cannot control” Perfect. This is so well said. Keeping it in mind these days…
Yup
Drinking the poison and hoping someone else dies never works well.
Just commenting to say that I am in my first month of sobriety and I just went thru a week of like raging anger, NOW I can see, it was due to wieners!
Ugh, Wieners and their being dependent upon me for rides or people asking me to do extra things. I got very resentful, I couldn’t shake it either. It was hard, I am so glad you made it thru sober and your husband stepped up! Awesome, whew. That was a surrender kinda moment and the universe caught you. Good work !
I was thinking I needed to loosen up too, I was the serious sort before now I am more serious because of this sober focus on myself. I was wondering how that could even happen. I think I will go horseback riding. Haven’t done it in years. I need someone to give me a ride for a change.
“I’m not drinking, and I’d like your support on that.” Sooo Belle!
Reminds me of a blog post I read recently – getting mad at a person or situation and so you “drink at it” to show your annoyance.
It’s a funny image, at least in my mind. Reminds me of a student who’s mad at a teacher over something and so the student decides to ‘get back’ at the teacher by not turning in homework. Who exactly does that hurt, now? Riiiiight.