Audio: What does drinking represent?

This morning I recorded a new audio for my podcast subscription thingy.

It’s about time travel.

You know, when you think that drinking will take you to another place. Like to the place before you had children. Or the place where you were single.

Does wolfie do that? Create imaginary scenarios and then convince you that by drinking you can GO there? Yeah. He does. The bastard.

Here’s a 2.5 minute extract from the podcast; the entire full audio podcast for subscribers is about 13 minutes long.

Please leave a comment after you listen to the extract … so that i know you’re out there.

Click below to listen:


click here to try a podcast subscription (1 month trial) – and of course, when you get bored of me, you can cancel whenever you want



I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • The thought of drinking always takes me to when I was young and carefree, a long time ago for me now. Oh yeah, but I forgot about the time I cracked a rib throwing up and didn’t even remember it the next day, or about the time I drove through an unprotected railway crossing with a train ‘this’ close. Maybe it wasn’t so carefree after all. I did get a lot of headaches……

  • Yep, wolfie likes to have us look at the past with rose colored glasses, easy to remember the good times you had that included booze and forget all the really shitty parts.for me this type of thinking comes later down the road , after I’ve managed to shut wolfie up and stuff her in a dark corner forgotten. I’ve quit the booze twice and made about 130 days. I’m on my 3rd journey(day 32) Somewhere around 4 months I start to get these thoughts about drinking, the ones about those good times way in past. They aren’t like voice I had in my head when you first stop drinking, the ones that sound like a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum. These are more subtle, fleeting images or feelings. This audio will be a great one for me to listen to when wolfie tries to be sneaky like that again.

  • Some of us need help for the opposite problem. I drink because I’m bored. I’m 40 pounds overweight and I used to eat because I’m bored . Then I discovered that drinking actually” worked”better than eating. It’s seemed to last longer. I don’t have to much to do,I don’t have enough to you ever address that is the problem?

  • Total truth. There is something about being freshly sober and the thoughts in my head that tell me if I drink everything will be normal again. But I know better. No it won’t. I’ll feel like shit and not get anything done.
    The part that is hard for me is how long will I keep thinking this. Eventually it has to stop. It didn’t at 30 days. I proved that since I’m back at 3 days.

    Having a switch to turn off would be ideal right now.

  • Hi Belle this is the first time I listen to one of your podcasts and I enjoyed it so much, can’t wait to hear more! I’m just over half of the 100 day Challenge and you are already helping me lots by being on the receiving end of my daily mails and sending encouraging reply’s often, but this adds a lot, hearing your voice and wisdom. You sound terribly strong and convincing, hope I’ll feel like that one day…love, Hare

  • Well said. Although one of my personal favorites is: I go to work, the house is clean, the kids have everything they need so I don’t have a problem!

  • When the wolf man speaks to me he’s telling me about those times with friends before I started sliding down the slippery slope. Those times when we were sitting on the shore of a beautiful lake or sailing off the coast of Maine, when drinking meant being carefree and happy. Then it all changed, a switch was thrown in my head. Now when I think about what drinking really means I think about awful hangovers and remorse. Now I don’t drink because I want to feel like I did when I was seventeen; before I’d ingested any intoxicants of any kind. I had almost 45 years of doing that so it’ll be a long repair and cleansing.

  • Excellent message. Addressing the different seasons of our lives was profound and so true !

    Sean Cassidy ! ha – ha
    ps) I love being 52 and sober