from my inbox:
Davies: “Well, I have made it to Day 50 … while I am VERY proud of my sobriety, I find that I am not overly ecstatic today. I am experiencing very mixed emotions.
On the one hand, I am thrilled! I have made it 50 days without a drink. That is over twice as long as my previous stretch without a drink … The one year anniversary of a death, my birthday, my husband’s birthday, beginning the process of buying our first home, the arrival of pumpkin beer on the shelf, etc… none of these have deterred me. I am strong and determined to be sober. I have accomplished something major and I feel amazing!
However, on the other hand, I have not exercised once … Weight loss has leveled off since Day 30 and I am back to feeling overweight and gloomy. I always just assumed that when I stopped drinking the full 30 pounds of extra weight that I put on 3 years ago would just magically disappear. I guess I didn’t realize that I was going to have to work for it. I also have started smoking cigarettes again, which I am so ashamed and frustrated by. It started with one here, one there, and then ballooned to buying my own and smoking about 10-15 a day. The thing that I realized I was missing without drinking was ‘that thing to look forward to’. Well, apparently I filled that void with cigarettes.
… how I am feeling now has motivated me to add some new elements to my next 50 days. So, without further adieu, here are the goals for days 51 through 100 (and beyond…):
- No alcohol
- No smoking
- Exercise 4 times per week
- Cut out cheese from my diet (I have been a vegetarian [no meat, poultry, or seafood] all my life and about a year ago, I cut out milk, yogurt, and eggs.)
- Less breads and pastas
- More big salads for dinner at least 4 times per week (Salads are annoying to make. I hate all the chopping. As a result, my husband and I end up eating lots of pastas, rices, and other heavy foods. I LOVE eating salads… I just hate making them. Lazy, lazy, lazy!)
I am confident that I can apply those changes to my remaining 50 days and I am also confident that I will feel even healthier, prouder, and happier at the end of this challenge … Thank you for motivating me to take on this challenge!”
from me: dear sweet pea. you’re sober on day 50 and that’s a really big deal. you aren’t exercising, but so what 🙂 you’re going to be sober for awhile. you can fix stuff as you go along in your sober life. the goal in early sobriety is to be sober (and anything else that happens is bonus but not required). your life isn’t magically all fixed yet.:but you’re well underway. most people don’t lose any weight at all in the first 90-100 days. you need the treats and rewards just to deal with being sober. it’s a big thing you’ve been doing. don’t let wolfie tell you that there’s too much else to do so it’s not worth it. it is. and you are. doing it that is …
Here are your goals for day 50-100. keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing to be sober. only add other things if they feel easy and fun. if they feel like work, then wolife will come out with ‘this is all too hard’. when you’re at 100 days sober and onwards, it’ll be much easier to make other changes. for now being sober is sort of a singular focus. just for now. be kind to you 🙂 hugs from me
Davies (day 51): “Thank you for your email yesterday. I’m in a much better mood today and feeling good about all that I’ve accomplished in my 51 sober days!”
[note to self: be nicer to you. go easy. being sober is hard enough. don’t add a bunch of other expectations all at the same time. being overwhelmed makes wolfie very very excited. keep doing what you’re doing.]
Stumbled on this comment after searching for people’s experiences after 50 days sober. It always amazes me how I am always brought back to Belle’s site. So, Today is my day 50. I too am waiting for a big sign From the universe that my life is officially on an upswing. So far no sign. But I know I feel more in control and better than I have in a long time. The weight loss and epiphanies will come later. For now, being sober is plenty to be focused on.
Funny related story: My mom recently asked me if I wanted a tchotchke of my Dad’s (he passed away almost 25 years ago) as I was leaving her house. I said yes, not knowing what it was. It was a giant clothes pin with a gold plaque on it that said “Top Priority”. I don’t know why she suddenly thought to give it to me now, but it was great timing. That’s what our sobriety needs to be. Top Priority. Everything else can wait. Thanks Dad!
Hello! I also can relate to you Davies. It’s like we thought stopping drinking would make us feel fabulous and change everything all at once. I understand about wanting something to look forward to. I have been sober 9 months and quit smoking 2 months ag0 and I am struggling . Hang in there and I will too!
Thanks for this… I am at 48 days and I could probably have written your post (sans cigarettes), Davies. My past pattern has been three weeks to a month or so and then the “this is all too hard thinking.” I am seeing more clearly the wolfie talk that has overwhelmed when I attempt to do too much at one time.
So one thing at a time for me too!
Davies, definitely follow Belle’s goals for you, it’s the only way for us mere mortals. Well done on the first 50 days: onwards and upwards!
Congratulations Davies, that is just wonderful. It’s not all roses, but how bloody good is it!!!!! All the best for the next 50 and beyond xx
50 days is so awesome and so worthy of pride and a feeling of accomplishment. I am on Day 4 and right now sobriety feels about as natural as deciding I rather not to the bathroom.
Go 50 days!
Great advice. Being sober is the habit of the day. Not drinking off days 51-100 will result in a smashing success.
Those other ideas can wait. In fact, you might decide that the sober you is not a lettuce eating, low carb exerciser. Love yourself anyway! Self acceptance is one of the big keys to happiness.
Put away the wet noodle and stop beating yourself up for being human and imperfect. Truly congratulate yourself on FIFTY, FIDDY, 5-0 days SOBER, that is a big deal. I felt how you feel during the first year of my sobriety but now (at 5.5 years) I have lost the 30 pounds, quit the nicotine relapse (yes, after 12 years I picked up ciggys for a spell), celebrating 38 months nicotine free today and although my life is not perfect, it is happy, joyous, and free of alcohol and lung biscuits. Hang in there, and keep on!
Hey Davies , I get it, I’m on day 75 and BOOM!… lost all my energy, No Exercise, Starting to eat a bit crappy and eat too much…I read your post and I can really relate. I had an super anticipated series of events over the weekend (4 days ago)I was looking forward to not drinking all weekend at parties and get togethers (nailed it)! But it’s like it zapped my energy and although I haven’t fallen off the wagon, the rest of my life is an instant struggle…weird…reading you and Belle’ s comments made me think that you (and I) should focus on the good and find something small to “Goal up” on. I know this strategy has helped me in the past and rather than try to fix all my problems at once (almost certain fail) I thought Davies should just focus on something small to do successfully and build from there. ……..Thanks for the post! It’s very powerful for me to feel the peripheral issues associated with not drinking and life…and Belle I have creeped on a lot of “I wanna stop drinking” sites and yours is the only that I have been able to stick with…It’s very human and real Thank You…….Moe
Me too, I hit a slump after day 50. Maybe it’s the anti climax after the big day and day 100 is a long way off. Belle s advice on being kind to ourselves is wise. Let’s leave the other ambitious stuff for later on in our sobriety.