is my large FOMO showing?

in all of the excitement of apartment news (combined with that feeling of being ‘behind’), i’ve been online more than expected the past few days.  in a perfect twist of luck, we had the option of staying or going, and we’re going. Time for a new adventure, new neighbourhood, new favourite restaurants, and a much bigger apartment. We’ll lose some things (the downstairs sneezing guy, and the leaf blower in the yard behind ours). We’ll gain some things (about 1/3 more space, higher ceilings, more light. We’ll lose a furnished apartment and we’ll gain our own furniture. We’ll lose babies crying and saxophones from the enclosed courtyard and we’ll gain street noise with scooters and ambulances.

does this go against my idea of “stay here”? i don’t think so. My idea of “stay here” is: try not to go madly off in all directions, worrying about everything, anticipating things that could/might/won’t happen. Instead, stay here. deal with today. later takes care of itself. Today is a good day (well, there’s something good about it).

i think that one of the things that i lost when drinking was a sense of adventure. and now i love taking 24 hour mini-vacations, and riding the train to random stations and then just getting off and seeing what there is to see. So after 5 years in one apartment (rented fully furnished, even the phone isn’t in our name!) we’re moving to a new place that’ll be just ours. and it’s being newly renovated so we’ll be the first people in it (though the building is 101 years old…)

yes, we’ll have to buy a washer/dryer and a microwave and a dishwasher and a bed. So to start we’ll use the landromat, we’ll heat food on the stove, we’ll wash the dishes by hand, and we’ll sleep on a futon.  We can buy the new bits as we can afford them. no big trip to the store with a credit card, instead we’ll just slowly figure stuff out.  It’ll be an adventure, starting all over again. It’ll make us a team. And this time we get to pick out all the stuff (been married 9 years, have never picked out a couch together).

i know that moving is stressful and chaotic. especially since i can’t miss a day of work for Job #1… i’m glad that i’m not 30 days sober and taking this on. I’m glad that i’m further along enough to know that cake = celebration. and that the smell of a new apartment, the sound of the echo, the slowly filling in with handpicked stuff, it’ll all be glorious.

and if i complain for one instant, send me back to this post.

will try to hide offline a bit more in the next few days, but my FOMO is quite large at the moment!