my first reflex [reblog]

unplugged today, here’s a post from the archives when i was about 6 weeks sober. I like this part in the comments:

“Isn’t it strange/awful/fascinating that we all think pretty much the same way and yet we all think we’re freakishly unique …”


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • It does take a few weeks or months to adjust to the new paradigm but honestly, it keeps getting better as time passes. Hang in there, you’ll be so glad you did, I promise.

  • Wanda,
    I did not feel good until after 30 days. I slept ok, but I really did not have any energy to exercise . I just got thru each day doing just what I had to and I got over that energy slump. I don’t know why it took so long, but it did. Now I have a lot more energy and I do more.

    Try to get past that thirty day mark and see what happens. You’re gonna like it!!

  • Last night was night 1. I dreamt about chaotic drinking all night. Probably because I just sat and read all your blog from the beginning yesterday. I was sweaty and itchy. I am filled with remorse. And I am afraid if I do not stop binging I am going to end up with Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. I am scared. You were wise to stop. I cannot understand why I don’t stop. I seem to get 30 days and pow! I fall off the wagon. It is insane. I have such a bad reaction to alcohol. I used to think I drank to sleep. But that was long ago. Now my drinking is just a nightmare. I read your blog and listened to the jump start classes. And just read and read.
    Thank you for the blog.

    • Drinking compulsively is horrible. It is a scary thing to quit, but it gets so much better!
      Have you read AAs big book? It is an interesting start, even if you don’t want to go to AA.
      The nightmare can end.

      • Thank you, ainsobriety .

        You are right.

        I keep reading about binge drinking.

        This is a compulsive behavior. I don’t know why I did not realize that.

    • Wanda, THERE IS A SOLUTION … may you find it now. I know exactly how you felt yesterday, been there, done that. Today I’m not there, today I”m not doing that. The solution is available to you. I agree to read AA’s Big Book, old language, real feelings, look for similarities not differences…and believe that you TOO, can have sobriety one day at a time….it gets better, wayyyyyy BETTER. Hugs.