From CB (day 0):
“So, I had made 108 days sober (feeling good and healthy and glowing) but felt pressure to do something to celebrate an event and had a few glasses, then again at a dinner party. (By the way, it wasn’t anywhere as near as enjoyable as I thought it would be. I just felt squiffy and couldn’t speak / articulate clearly even after only 1 or 2 glasses.)
The next few weeks i had a few glasses at weekends, then I went travelling with work and now I’m almost back to where I was before: boozing most nights. I also know that when I do drink, I can’t easily stop after 1 or 2 … it’s like a floodgate and when I’ve had one it’s harder to stop. Why am I so needy? Argghhhhh!
I am determined I am going to kick the booze again and would love a trigger to start. Why is it so difficult to find a reason to start again? I really regret not having the strength to just carry on. I’d be on day 180 today. Any tips for triggers to start again would be much appreciated. I keep thinking ahead and saying: I’ve got the holiday booked so maybe when I come back I can see they’re all just excuses but can’t help it. I know you’ll say just get on with it.. I feel so pathetic.”
me: you can begin again on day 1 as soon as you’re ready to feel better (the sooner the better!). you can begin now 🙂 your comment is telling, though. you’re not ‘needy’ – booze is addictive. it’s not that you should be able stop. Lots of people drink as much as they can get away with. if you were consuming cocaine, you wouldn’t wonder why it was hard to stop. Remove the booze, and you’ll feel a whole lot better. Lemme know when you’re ready
CB: “thank you!!!!!! I’m going to make today be day 1. yayyyyyy. why do i need someone to tell me what to do. so very pathetic of me. thank you again Belle. xxxxxxxx”
me: haha. we all (often) need guidance in the beginning. wolfie is very loud …