this time i have today

weekends in the sober world go like this: sleep till 9, have eggs and apple and decaf for breakfast. shower. should i to go out now or later. decide to accompany Mr. B when he makes a work delivery this afternoon. Will i have time to return my library book. Think i’ll make cookies this afternoon if it’s not too hot. I might have a nap too. for dinner i’m going to use up some of the leftovers in my fridge. and maybe vacuum the office carpet it’s looking a bit hairy.

weekends in the non-sober world go like this: sleep till 11, have caffeinated coffee and pastries for breakfast, maybe McDonald’s. watch several hours of bad tv trying to wake up. someone making eggs in the next apartment and i could nearly heave. try to go back to bed for a nap but can’t sleep so i have a beer first, it’s 1 pm, but the beer is just so i can sleep, it’s not because i drink in the daytime you know. i can’t remember if i’ve even read this book yet and it’s already overdue so i won’t return it until i can think about it more clearly. the cookies i’ll start at 10:30 pm after a bottle of wine, but i’ll drop something, maybe my wineglass on the tile floor, and then i’ll sort of clean it up but not really. then i’m not really sure if there are glass shards in the cookie batter. so i leave it on the counter until tomorrow. where i will find it in the morning, hung over, i’ll look at red wine stains up the wall, glass pieces, melted cookie dough. and i’ll think, fuck it, who wants to go out for brunch at the bottomless-pit-mimosa place?

weekend in the sober world go like this: what can i do with this time i have today? what can i make, be, do, write, discover. how much sleep can i get today. how much sun can i absorb.

weekend in the non-sober world: how much booze is there, how much booze is there, how much booze is there, wonder if i should try the new expensive wine today, god the sun is really bright in here.


Happy Day 50 to CindyW!

Happy Day 50 to Arya!

Happy Day 50 to Sanfansober!

Happy Day 100 to GW!

Happy Day 200 to Kimf!

Happy Day 200 to Jacques!

Happy Day 200 to Laurie-lynn!

Happy Day 300 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 400 to KC!

Happy Day 400 to C How!

Happy Day 400 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 400 to Sarita!


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • It’s funny, it seems that all us “fun lovin’ ” lushes, whothought we were fun and interesting, were in reality living limited and boring lives, with pockets of unfinished chores, ooddles of guilt and a smattering of delusion.
    And I bet you that all of us on this sober journey have had a myriad of diverse experiences today, doing lots of different activities, being productive and LIVING our lives, doing what we want when we want rather than half of something when we can…..

  • Yes! Love this post! One of the things I am LOVING about not drinking is that I have way more time and energy to follow through on things. I’m only on day 8, but already I am more creative, more active, less procrastinating and just so much more alive! I am thrilled that I will not be drinking this weekend! Enjoy your awesome weekend Belle!

    • Rock on Miss M, you are well on your way to a great life. Day 8 is one of the BEST DAYS. You beat the first week and you are shooting for the better feeling second week. Stay the course and I promise you will be a much happier woman.

  • My goodness, this really resonates with me today. So true. I think I’ve accomplished more in the last 54 days, than I have in many, many years. After the first pink clouds left me, I felt “boring” for not drinking. I’ve now turned the corner and realized that nothing could be further from the truth. I was “boring” before!

  • I had forgotten about all the Saturdays I wasted watching bad tv. I would try to make it look like “a relaxing Saturday,” but it was really just an attempt to not look so pathetic as I used all my energy just to sit upright–still in my pajamas on a sunny afternoon. Gag. I like sober weekends so much better.