Sunday morning, completely out of nowhere, a mouse ran into our apartment from under the front door. she ran into the kitchen, then into the living room where my husband was (he yelled as if he’d just discovered that David Bowie died, a yelp of shock and true exasperation).
the upside to my heart medication combined with sobriety? reduced adrenaline. so when panicky stuff happens, i just go “wow. did you see that?” and then I go out to buy a mouse trap on a sunday. The gardienne, all dressed up on her way to church, wearing white over orange, sees me with a bag of mouse traps and sticky paper, and she offers to lend her cat for an hour (no joke). and i’m just smiling, and texting my sister. It must be the good heart drugs mixed with a healthy dose of sobriety. this clearly isn’t me.
i sit around with my feet UP and let husband deal.
as i hide in the office, i start singing: “he sat Miss Mousie on his knee, and he said, Miss Mousie, will you marry me? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.” thus, the mouse is a girl.
and then the gardienne really does arrive at the door to our apartment with her little white cat and says “here …”
Mr. B is so in love with the cat that he can’t just let her do her business. He stares at the cat, the cat stares at him, and the mouse hangs out under the couch.
text received from sister: What a great idea . You could start a rent a mouser business – if Mr. B will let them go. If puddy gets the mouse, Mr. B might want it for a pet too.
i tell Mr. B to come out of the living room and leave the cat alone. but the cat is meowing so he won’t leave her … honestly. it’s good thing we don’t have a baby … let the cat cry, i say. she’ll get the job done! but no.
i finally talk him into let the cat cry alone in the room with the mouse for 15 minutes. we set the timer. the cat meows. the mouse hides. mr. b. cringes and paces around in the last minute.
unfortunately, Mr. B. accidentally squishes miss mousie moving the couch (the mouse was up in the hide-a-bed by the end of it… and the great white hunter just cried and cried and cried …)
Mr. B says in English: “this is not for me…”
finally he traps the mouse with two pieces of cardboard … the puddy is not a hunter cat after all.
text received: The GREAT WHITE HUNTER. That must have been a really lazy mouse to allow itself to be caught with cardboard. Or she found some wine? [note to self, time to update sister on my non-drinking status, now that it’s like 2 years …]
we put the two pieces of cardboard in a giant garbage bag. and Mr. B. exits the premises. i suppose mousie met her demise after that. i asked not to be informed.
my father texts: All of this about a mouse? The other day, someone in Yellowknife had a bear in her kitchen.
to be fair, i never saw miss mousie. and it’s a good thing, too. it’s just the kind of event that i’d play over and over.
for 2 days, though i’ve been calling Mr. B the great white killer. he’s not that happy with the title. he said “il faut le faire” – which means ‘you’ve just to do it’ or ‘it must be done’.
if you have a mouse (wolfie) in your house, what are you doing to get rid of it? borrowing your neighbour’s cat is a good place to start. just find a successful neighbour with a fierce cat. and model yourself after her …
~
Happy Day 50 to magic arrow!
Happy Day 100 to AM!
Happy Day 100 to Laure!
Happy Day 100 to Moss!
Happy Day 100 to unsmashed!
Happy Day 100 to Darla!
Happy Day 200 to Doll Face!
Happy Day 365 to Laurie!
LOL – what your dad said just cracked me up – the dog thinks I’ve lost it and perhaps I have
Jac (nearly at the end of a full read and 17 days sober)
Lora – I felt EXACTLY the same way. I was terrified to join the challenge, because I had tried on my own soooooooo many times before. In fact, I was so afraid to join, I woke up at 3 am one night, thinking about how afraid I was. At that moment I made myself email Belle to sign up, thinking if I could just do that, I’d worry about the rest of it tomorrow. I am now on day 54 and I haven’t felt this good in years. To say it’s been life-changing is an understatement. You can do this!
Thanks Nellie. I did finally take the plunge and am on Day 9 right now. and, I do feel wonderful! I told Belle that my 2 main goals right now are: 1. dont drink, and 2. get plenty of sleep. everything else is secondary. I’m working on eating better and exercising but if things get tough, I fall back on goals 1 & 2 because those take priority right now. The support I’ve found online is amazing. Thank you again and congrats on day 54!!
What a great story – thanks
David Bowie is still alive?
Of COURSE your father knows someone with a bear in the kitchen. Great line. And three cheers for Mr. B! He is a sensitive soul, but he did what he had to do! Thanks for the smile today. 🙂
You make the world a smilier, shinier place Belle and I think Mr B is a very wise mouse slayer. . .
This comment isnt really related to this post in particular although I did enjoy reading it. You’re very witty. i’ve been coming to your blog and reading for awhile. i’ve read the first 2 months of your blog posts and receive your emails. in other words, i’ve been thinking about and wanting to quit for quite awhile. i’m scared to join the 100 day challenge because i’ve tried over and over and over to quit and failed. every. single. time. i just dont think i can do it.
I saw that you started already – but really, once you get some momentum going, it gets much easier. and commenting on blogs is good too, makes you feel like you’re participating 🙂