how to be sane

i slept till 10:30 am today. and it’s stopped raining.

you’d think i could learn this lesson for real, right? must get enough sleep. must. even i’m bored of writing the same thing here over and over. it’s sort of like when i wanted to quit drinking, i’d write it down in my journal all the time, and then go merrily on my way as if i hadn’t already learned the lesson.

must get enough sleep.

if i’m overtired, then i eat badly, do nothing, feel unproductive (horrors) and don’t get dressed.

there must be some secondary gain in being overtired that i still haven’t unearthed, in all of my years of trying to figure this out. It’s like i learn the lesson, then unlearn it, then learn it again. what a waste of time. i could just get enough sleep (be sober) and then move on to other things that i want to do in my life.

like be sane.

today i slept till 10:30 am, sent my husband off to his new manager. i bought groceries for a catering event tomorrow. I had popcorn for a snack. I had some cake.

sure, the rest of my life is the same. I still have some job #1 work to do, but the angsty part seems to have faded. i do have the ability to wind myself up, and thankfully i also can unwind with a big sleep (i was awake from 5 am to 7:30 am and eventually talked to my husband about my busy brain; he said, i kid you not, “worry about one thing at a time.” hahahaha. then i went back to sleep.)

and it’s not raining, praise baby cheeses.


Happy Day 50 to Sam!

Happy Day 50 to Roisin!

Happy Day 100 to Janx!

Happy Day 180 to Rx!

Happy Day 180 to Crispy!

Happy Day 300 to Cat Girl!

Happy Day 300 to Julieanne!


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • My sleep has gone to h*ll since I got sober. I m tossing and turning, kicking pillows and duvet to the ground, going to the loo 3 times a night, waking tired. I wasn’t expecting this. Thought I’d be sleeping like a baby on day 10. It can only get better right ?

    • Hey Paulita. When I got off the booze (just over 180 days ago) I found myself tossing and turning, and generally feeling unwell, for at least 4 weeks. The sleep got better quicker than that, but I had a general uneasy and unwell feeling for plenty more. It was a bit of a shock and a bummer too at the time, but looking back I see that my body was going through a big change, and my mind too.

      It did get better though! And certainly worth it. Keep Trucking.


      • Thanks crispy. Well done on 180 days. That’s amazing. I’ll just keep trudging along for another while and hope things settle down rest wise.

  • I too am tired. My kid gets in the way of an uninterrupted night’s sleep. I mused in my blog today that it is incredible that chose to survive with very little sleep because of my drinking. Like kids isn’t bad enough for that! Yes, sleep is good.

  • this is me and running. feeling low scratchy and out of sorts? if answer is yes then probability is high that it is more than 48 hours since last run. And apparently I need to relearn this lesson every 10 days. Have brain of goldfish 🙂 xx

  • I am often sleep deprived with my job and it really messes things up. It makes you want to eat sugar and caffeine and then your on a high/low ride of emotions. So I hope you got some sleep!!…
    Rock a bye Bella in the tree top 🙂

  • Sleep is a beautiful thing. It is one of the best things I realized I didn’t do enough of until I started my sober journey. Definitely required for self care and keeping wolfie quiet.

  • Sleep cures so much of what ails us if only we allow it the time needed to do its restorative work. Babies and little kids show us that so clearly when they either nap or much falls apart around them; we have to honor that part of us which heals and cleanses and rejuvenates while we lie and dream. Isn’t life wonderful that way ?~!

  • I read somewhere that doctors did a study and concluded that being even moderately sleep deprived affected human functions the same as drinking xx ounces (I can’t remember the amount, but it was quite a bit) of alcohol. Both had a significantly negative impact on motor and brain functions.