from my inbox:
Durfee (1 year sober):
“Of all the tremendously difficult, sometimes heartbreaking yet mostly wonderful things I have discovered during this YEAR I became sober, one stands out amongst the rest.
It seems so simple, yet it was so difficult to accept, to say, to admit, even to myself. My relationship with alcohol was two sided – there was either NEVER ENOUGH or TOO MUCH.
There was no in between, no ability to moderate, have just one (why bother?) two (why stop now?) three (just getting going) four (now we’re having fun).
Then the next day there was the TOO MUCH – too much to drive, too much to remember what happened, too much to be ashamed of, too much to feel guilty about.
What a horrible repetitive cycle. I lived there for years, 25+, more…
You know how it goes, as you have so eloquently said so many times – our drunkenness is not “special” or “unique” we lack the off switch, which enables “normies” to stop when we are all just not able too!
This has been a tremendous year of self-discovery, and I have truly realized that I LIKE myself a little more when I am sober, I am present in the moment rather than trying to numb the hell out of everything I feel……
It’s not always pleasant or happy or a “parade” but it’s ALWAYS better than the alternative, which is just TOO MUCH to go through again.
THANK YOU for all you have done for me, all you continue to do for others, and for making it OK to care enough about myself to do what is right for me, even though it is sometimes very hard. God Bless, Durfee”