from my inbox:
LaureDann (day 11): “I am trying to see things more clearly. I am trying to figure out why I would go back to drinking when I know it’s been a problem for years. I am trying to change. I have a lot of things going in in my life right now. Some within my control, some without. I’m tired.
Sometimes it’s just shitty… And yet each day I wake up and try to choose to be happy and have a positive attitude. I haven’t had a drink … And frankly I don’t want one, until I want one or ten. I’m so sick of it …
How do I get my brain to say no to alcohol? I have to keep moving forward … My goal is health, always health. Thanks so much for checking in, because I generally forget to. I am so not used to asking for help. I’ve done everything for myself my whole life.”
me: The ‘thinking about why we drink’ is a loop of weirdness. there’s no good answer, except that booze is addictive, wolfie lies to us, and we ‘forget’ why we wanted to quit. I found that once I connected with other sober people (even just one!) then I realized it wasn’t just me, and that it gets better. which it does.
your feelings with problems of motivation and procrastination will also even out a bit over time. to begin, your primary focus is on being sober. every else is extra … if you try to do too much at once, it makes it easy for wolfie to say ‘fuck it, this is all too hard’… hugs from me