what do you think about rescue?
I got an email from a Team 100 member, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Here’s an excerpt:
D: “Hi Belle, I see a counselor/coach and talked with her about checking in with you daily. We had an interesting conversation about the persecutor/ victim/ rescuer triangle (a.k.a. the Karpman Drama Triangle) and the question I was asked was, “Are you using this as a rescue?” After considering it I realized the answer is “yes” and have since thought a lot about what this means to me right now. I greatly appreciate what you’re doing and I very much enjoy your writing … For now, I’m replacing my old story of “I can’t change on my own” to “I am a powerful, empowered woman who honors and respects herself and who sets herself up to “win” every day.” With all of this said, I respectfully withdraw from the daily e-mails.”
me: hi there, I totally understand … I see myself as more of a cheerleader. YOU do the work and I just stand around and throw glitter. if you think that would be helpful, you can let me know 🙂 I can definitely throw glitter, and would be glad to. And hopefully I can do it in a way that doesn’t get in the way of your therapy. hugs.
So here’s my question. What do you think about the idea of ‘rescue’? Can you see where D’s coach is coming from? Because I so respect what D is saying here. But how do you frame what support is? Is it glitter? Cheerleading? Is it rescue? Is it putting something under the three-legged table? Or is it about how we ask others to support us?
What do you think?
[Note: Please be kind and thoughtful. I will gently edit comments that attack; I’m interesting in having a conversation. No shittiness allowed 🙂 can you believe shittiness isn’t in spell check?]