there are plenty of ways to slow things down

Things. I have things to say. I also have meals to cater, and apartments to view. We are going to have to move, which i alternatively think is great, and hideous, both. first place  viewed = big, great view, hideous blue carpets. le sigh. whine: why can’t we stay here? i don’t want to move. then I get up and will go off to see the second apartment later today. the good news? we have 6 months to find a great place. the bad news? we have 6 months to prolong this thinking that there’s a ‘right’ place for us. Yes, i do feel like we’ll walk into some place and say “this is it.” i do feel that. i just don’t know how many we’ll have to see before that happens.

(How long does it take? How long does it take until i feel better being sober, how long until i sleep better, how long until i stop hating my husband, how long until wolfie stops, how long until i lose weight?)

and while there are guidelines on how long things take — the truth is things take as long as they take. there’s very little I can do to speed things up BUT there are plenty of ways to slow things down. I could stop looking at apartments and pretend I don’t have to move (i.e. I could hide). You could get frustrated that the sober thing doesn’t feel better fast enough, and you could drive your sober car off the road and into the forest.

Or you could keep driving, however slowly, cuz at least you’re moving forward. this whole ostrich/hiding thing? it’s really not a way through. hiding? it’s not really you being who you are. not sure who you are yet? time to find out 🙂

need another metaphor? sewer. sunshine.

and the one i need to read today – stop assuming the new thing will suck.


Happy Day 50 to Shaina!

Happy Day 50 to WildMustang68!

Happy Day 50 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 50 to Jmar!

Happy Day 50 to Chris Ann!

Happy Day 50 to Marquita!

Happy Day 100 to Pbwy!

Happy Day 100 to Wantasoberlife!

Happy Day 100 to Barbie!

Happy Day 180 to Sasha!

Happy Day 200 to Annabelle!


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • The ride is the destination. May your new changes bring forth gifts and newfound growth. The same thing happened to me recently and it worked out for the better. Life is never boring, is it?

  • In regard to fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. This acronym has helped me tremendously in some tough moments, as have your wonderful words, Belle. Thank you.