you. take care of you.
Belle
I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012
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I just finished Day 3. This is my first post.
Anonymous, Monday morning I was sitting in bed feeling like crap, while the phone messages piled up, making me feel even worse. I didn’t feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. I was poking around online trying to find anything to help me try once again to quit my bottle of wine each and every night, and to quit the obsessive thinking about drinking. I have tried and failed, tried and failed, again and again. I somehow found my way to this blog and saw how many real people are being helped, and how many are just like me. It made me look myself right in the eye and be honest with myself. I read Belle’s blog in order and I can’t tell you how much this helped me! It can help you too–I know it. As today pushed toward evening, I was starting to feel the familiar tugging of the bottle. I stopped and thought about a few things I have already learned here: I don’t want to feel regret and disgust for myself every morning when I wake up; I love the clear-headed me; I like remembering what I said to my husband and daughter the night before. The tugging subsided. Chocolate and Doritos helped too. 🙂 Hope to see you here, Anonymous. Belle and all these people are the real deal. I finally feel like I have the strength, and the accountability, to keep going.
Reblogged this on Drunk on Sauv and commented:
EXACTLY. I know this – just need to do something about it. :-/
Anon. Just a note to add my support to you. When you have some time, please read Belles blog from her first post in order. Go through the journey with her. Our journeys are very similar. We are all in this together. Trish (nearly one year sober!)
My phone won’t let me send e mails at the moment and don’t want to use family lap top. Can’t believe that you and others read and cared about my post . I don’t want to carry on the downward spiral that I’m on. I’ve found this blog and hope i can give me the strength to be the person I want to be .
Believe it,Anon, we did and we will continue to support you in this endeavor. My fervent wish is that you only have one more Day One: Tomorrow and let it be the fresh start you WANT !~! We’re here for you. Belle will contact you every day and others like me will be here cheering you as you rack up the days… Do It, you’ll be sososo much happier, promise.
She’s an amazing woman, our Belle, and so many have her to thank for helping them keep to the sober side of the path of life. Bless her and keep her safe–we need her.
To Anonymous. Start a conversation with Belle. When I try to remember how I started, how things became stable, how I found myself again…it seems so long ago. Then I remember, becoming accountable to Belle did it. I don’t even know this woman but she spoke to my soul and told me I could do it. I knew it was my job but I had Belle to vent to/pout/question. It can be done but two months ago, I would never have believed that fact. Give Belle a chance.
YES.
Hi Belle i don’t know where to start. I’m looking for help. Just started my second bottle of wine . Every day I wake up and think no more but by 5 pm. I’m off again x
if you’d like to email me tomorrow, I can give some ideas 🙂 make tomorrow day 1 and then email – tiredofdrinking@gmail.com
Oh I hope Anonymous emails Belle. Belle has a special way of helping.
One thing I did to try to take care of myself and stop drinking was to get rid of the TV.
That did not work because I learned to watch TV and movies on my computer.
I am wondering if anyone has ever experienced this drunk-TV-watching phenomenon because to me it seems very weird and somewhat stupid.
When I am drunk, I enjoy TV shows and movies. When I am sober, I cannot stand to watch either. When I am sober and I see an advertisement for a TV show or movie that I think I want to watch then I start planning a drunk so that I can watch the show.
This has happened in the past many, many times. Seriously, I blame this behavior for many of my relapses. It is illogical. I don’t know where it comes from. I don’t know what it means. I have thought about forcing myself to watch a TV show every night while being sober to change the behavior and conquer this trigger but I am actually afraid that watching TV ignite the trigger rather than wither the trigger.
I think I’m too ADD to watch tv anymore. I just find it so boring that I want to do something else as soon as I start. when I was drinking I would veg out and just watch. now I’m too busy thinking what else I could be doing …
Thank you, Belle!
Very apt for me today thanks xxx