pretend you have the flu

from me:

A busy week with catering and stuff. cheesecakes and bagels and sausage meat sauce… Feeling very serene and calm (who knows why, but i’ll take it). Just enough to do without being overwhelmed (maybe that’s it). Happy to be sober. happy to eat coffee cake with streusel topping. happy.

from my inbox:

Jewels: “I feel so anxious today! I think it’s just my body adjusting. Staying strong :)”

me: “it’s true, there are some anxiety days, but it’s just your body getting ready for the new you. pretend you have the flu. hide at home, watch a movie, go to bed … you can watch the silly romantic time travel movie (About Time, 2013).”

Jewels (the next day): “This email totally changed my attitude yesterday. Instead of just thinking *I’m not going to drink tonight* I was excited about what I WAS going to do. I made a yummy dinner, got in my PJs, snuggled up in bed and watched my favorite shows … My husband even left so I could have “me” time. And it’s exactly what I needed! I love your suggestion of pretending I have the flu. I’ve never really understood what people mean when that say to *take care of yourself*. Thinking of it as I have the flu makes so much sense to me. When I really have the flu, it forces me to SLOW DOWN. And I think I need that more often. So whenever I feel really stressed out now I’m gonna have a “flu” night lol! I’m feeling good this morning :)”


Happy Day 50 to Bennie!

Happy Day 50 to Darcy!

Happy Day 50 to Nantucket!

Happy Day 50 to Rene1971!

Happy Day 50 to Jamie!

Happy Day 50 to RunnerMom!

Happy Day 100 to Trinity!

Happy Day 100 to Nikki!

Happy Day 100 to JS!

Happy Day 100 to marge96!

Happy Day 100 to Ella May!

Happy Day 100 to Be!

Happy Day 300 to Zenmeg!

Happy Day 300 to Durfee!


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Whenever I was hung over, I’d call in work and say I had the flu. It was always the one day flu. I actually don’t remember what it’s like to really have the flu

  • LOLing at Wanda–a lot of my hangovers felt like I had just been in a car accident, too! These days, I have learned how to read myself and know, NOW is when I need to stop. Just stop. Take a break. End the work day. It will get done tomorrow. (And, most of the time, I probably did more than I needed to do anyway.) 95% of the time these days, a break, a full stop, helps the “fuck this, I want a glass of wine” feelings… STOP!

  • I always pretended I had the flu when going through alcohol withdrawals. It was the only way I could convince myself the pain was temporary. Sometimes I had to step up the illness from the flu to endometriosis with migraines… least those illnesses are temporary (as are withdrawals). Sometimes I would pretend I was waiting for surgery after being in a car accident. It is good advice, Belle.