a single spotlight

from Cat Girl:

“I turned six months yesterday! I couldn’t have done it without you Belle. Fact. Big up yourself. It was a super triggery day of manic highs and lows, which I wasn’t expecting. Maybe it needs a podcast, sober-versaries and itchy trigger fingers.

I am here, reading everything you do, loving it, even if I’m quieter these day. Life just got a lot busier, y’know? I have a lot of shit to do now. Great shit. And a lot of demands from amended friends. This life is so much bigger. So much busier. So much better. It’s like my life pre-sobriety was just a bottle of wine with a single spotlight on it, and scary darkness beyond.

Post-sobriety, somebody’s hit the floodlights, everything’s illuminated and the world just got WAY bigger. All these things I want to do! All these things I’m fascinated by. All these books I want to read. People I want to see. Horses I want to ride. Museums I want to go to. Food I want to cook. Runs I want to go on. TED talks I want to listen to. Artists I want to know more about. This is amazing. I don’t want to go to that dark room with the single spotlight on the booze.”

(she’s on day 219 today, 7.3 months!)


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Thanks for sharing this. I’m very early days, but feeling happy about it and it’s so good to read such a positive post from someone further down the line. Well done Cat Girl.