Overwhelm comes from looking ahead

cup-cake-o-rama is finished. just have to ice the big cake tomorrow morning. nearly nearly done. le phew. icing is made and coloured, first 2 layers of white icing are on the cake. just gotta do the roses with the pink and yellow icing tomorrow after it’s set a bit. i know. pink and yellow roses? but really. it’s a spring-time theme. le whatever.

i have learned some shit about sobriety this week while doing this catering job. i’ll try to put it into a podcast tomorrow (provided all goes well with the roses!). i’ve learned about having the right tools (!), about preparation (!), and about overwhelm. Yeah. Really. And the benefits of having routines that support you. If you have something that’s working, keep doing it. Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

and once you do something hard, you realize (if you’re me) that you thought it would take 6 hrs and it took 2 hrs. You think in advance that it’s going to be impossible and stressful and hateful, and instead it’s sunny and cloudy and bright and weird and then it’s sunny again, and then it’s done.

You think you’re never going to do anything as hard as this again, and then when you’re through the worst of it, you can look back and say “i imagine it will be terrible because i am always looking too far ahead. If i keep my focus on what I need to do next, and only that, then it’s all possible. enjoyable even. manageable.”

Overwhelm comes from looking ahead. Stay Here. Just do today. The next right thing. What can you do next to support you?

Me? i’m getting into the tub (8 pm) with some frozen eclairs. with my cedar bubble bath.


Happy Day 50 to MoMaH!

Happy Day 50 to Regina!

Happy Day 100 to Maureen!

Happy Day 100 to Challenges!

Happy Day 100 to Rabbit!


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I mucked up my day 5 twenty four days ago. I went into the reset with a few lessons learned . Hang in there

  • Great to read as someone who just mucked up their day 5. Now back to my new day 1. I’m not going to Look ahead too far – except for ‘allowing the future to hold me in its warm embrace’ as I once read. There’s got to be goodness ahead that isn’t overwhelming…I’ll try to remember this next time it all feels too much and just re-position myself back to today.

    • just a note of encouragement to Anonymous… we’ve all mucked up. The beginning is so hard. Remember you are worth it. You are worth all the difficulty and effort it takes to stay sober one day at a time. Eventually, it WILL calm down inside, and you will feel freedom. You are worth it and the freedom is worth it! Cheering you on. <3

  • Looking ahead can definitely be overwhelming, time stretches out endlessly with so much to do; especially if you’re a perfectionist. That’s why we practice being here now in zen; why in AA they say, take it a day at a time. I’m as guilty as the next.