this audio needs a clever title

i think i need a pep-talk. like, seriously. so i thought i’d give myself one. didn’t turn out quite like i had planned.

This audio is about you driving along in your sober car, and what happens when you turn down a small road and get lost. What happens when you’re hesitant to make plans because you’re used to your boozing brain that says “i can’t count on myself.” Yeah, like — once you’re sober, and you CAN rely on yourself — then what?

The full length podcast is 10 minutes; here’s a 2.5 minute extract from part way through. Once you listen, you can post a comment below…

When this audio begins, I’m talking about you driving along in your sober car, and what happens next …


click here to try a podcast subscription (1 month trial) – and of course, when you get bored of me, you can cancel whenever you want


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • This is a very good message, Belle. Not only making travel plans, or even limited plans like people make who sustain friendly relationships, has been my life. Meeting someone for coffee or attending a baby shower becomes an ordeal because I have to gauge whether or not I will be sober or on a binge on that day. I make plans with people and then cancel with some excuse because I am on a binge. People must think I am terminally ill I have so many sicknesses; they must think I am a klutz I have so many accidents. I would get so drunk that I would crash around the house trying to find my way to the bathroom or bed. I was not just banging into furniture, but rather crashing into things, knocking over cabinets, falling and breaking my wrist, hand, ankleā€¦I am fair-skinned and bruises show up well. I always have to check before I go to work to make sure the bruises do not show below the cuff of my blouse. Skirts, forget it, I wear pants. So not making plans has become a way of life for me. Thank you.

  • Driving a sober car? Men don’t ask directions:-) but you knew that. Really, thanks for providing this recalcitrant male so much direction.

  • Hi Belle. I love this post. This is right where I am and I wrote about it on my blog this morning. I am well past the 60 days and no longer worry about drinking – although cautious. I have a list of all the fun things I want to do, but still find myself wandering around the house feeling bored. Just having a hard time picking up the paintbrush, the camera, the running shoes, the new recipe. Why am I holding back when I now have the freedom to do whatever I please?