message received

Dear universe. This note is to confirm that we are in receipt of the early morning phone call on Saturday. We confirm that Mr. Belle will be flying out tomorrow morning (sunday) to be with his family and he’ll be gone for a week. Thank you for preventing me from buying 200€ worth of groceries yesterday. I see now why the store was closed. I apologize for my self-centred hissy fit. Really. Sometimes us sober chicks freak out over incredibly dumb stuff. Thanks for reminding me what is actually important. I will drink tea and snuggle on the couch. I accept the message. I will fucking snap out of it already. I have. love, Belle xo


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Thank you for reminding me to not “stare at self” … and let self pity and self deception kick into gear to tell me what a POS my life is … FALSE. I am 8 days from FIVE YEARS sober and Wolfie, the disease, whatever we call “IT” is dogging me telling me I’m not quite content. Sooooo I’m on a plateau rather than a mountain top…I sat on the beach today in glorious warmth in the middle of winter for gosh sakes and watched peeps enjoy the day AND I enjoyed the day. ALWAYS the liar, the fibber, the THIEF, trying to steal my beautiful life … not no Wolfie, but HELL NO … I will not go. Gratitude, and a treat are next in order.

  • Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Think of how awesome your reunion with Mr. Belle will be when he returns. Start planning!