here’s what i know about me. escaping to bed is my number one go-to strategy. warm bed, clean sheets, under the covers. 8:45 pm is not too early. i need more than toast for breakfast. I feel better when i run. I like having a clean desk. and i write the same fucking lists over and over and seem to (not very adequately) be able to get my shit together. sleep. run. eat. clean and tidy. repeat. repeat. I’m heading into an overnight shift of baking on wednesday night which isn’t ideal for the sleep category. i think i’m worrying in advance. ha. i amuse myself. stay here, I say. have a shower, shave your legs, put on baby powder, let your hair dry, put on striped socks, stay here. baking is later. you’re here now. do this now. do this thing here. little chick. pat pat pat. and buy some salted caramel chocolate. yes.
from my inbox:
Olivia (day 13): “I listened to the sober decluttering call a week ago. You asked if you came over to our house would we be able to let you in without being embarrassed. When I was deep in my binge drinking, I would have been horrified. But now, my house is company ready most of the time. Not Queen of England ready — I do have 2 kids and a dog — but I would happily invite you in for tea 🙂 I realized this today when one of my daughter’s friends was dropped off at our house with a five minute notice. All I had to do was hang some coats and pick up a few stray Cheerios and I was ready. It’s amazing how less chaotic my life is without wine being the focus.”
AmandaJ (day 6): “I’m away on a work trip.I am off out to soak up the sunrise and take in the sights and sounds of this amazing city. Walk myself to death and breath in the mountain air. I’m determined to cram in as much good stuff as I can, daily, hourly on my second attempt at the challenge. This time I get it and will heed your advice about replacing the bad shit with the wonderous. I liken my first attempt at sobriety to a cheap meat pie. I ripped out the filling and just sat and watched the empty pie shell. This time round I’ve re stuffed the pie with a delicious nutritious filling crammed full of veggies and herbs and love. I realise where I went wrong last time. I didn’t add anything wonderous, just took out the booze and there was just a big boring gap in my life. Lesson learned.”
Wean: “Sober! I am not a broken person, I am a good person wanting to get better. And I will!” [she’s on day 27 today]