keep your sober car out of the snowbank

From my inbox:

Moira: “I like the business about treats, and I’m glad you described letting it continue for a couple of weeks. There’s something really interesting in it. The reframing thing. I can feel a big difference when I treat myself to something I want just because I’m “indulging” and when I tell myself this is a treat for the work I’ve done over the last couple of days of staying sober. Something clicks inside. A little pat on the back from me to me. As opposed to a sense of guilt for indulgence (a sensation I very much associate with drinking).”

Sarita: “I would DEFINITELY recommend the Clutter Class to people. I thoroughly enjoyed it and can still feel the positive effects of it! …  At first I thought, Why 25 min? Why not make it 30?!  But then yesterday (my first day since the class), the idea of giving 30 minutes to de-cluttering felt overwhelming and I could hear the “Clutter Wolfie” arguing his case to get on with the “more important tasks of the day”.  But for some clever, crazy reason, 25 minutes felt like a drop in the bucket. So without the Wolfie voice nagging me, I just did it and WOW did it make me feel energized all day! … $9 seemed inexpensive. I’d probably have paid $15 to do the class.  It is heavenly that it is inexpensive and doable.”

Margy: “I must agree that the “feeling better” becomes addictive.  Never realized all the aches and pains I had, now that I don’t have them!  Still having moments when I feel the urge to have a drink. Seems to be when I get pissed off. Not sure what the trigger is for that. This is my latest work in progress. Haven’t caved into the urge, feeling good I can come up with an answer. Trying to pinpoint why I have such a self-destructive desire when I get angry/upset. Again I am so grateful I found your blog!  Thank you for your caring and time.”

Puppy Girl: “As I walked past the two liquor stores that used to take my $300+ per month, it felt so good knowing that I can walk past them without ANY hesitation or second thoughts. I’m fully aware that wolfie is still out there like a lurking interloper, but I feel confident walking with my Belle and Community armour that protects me from unexpected attacks. It really boils down to the thoughts we allow inside our head and what we choose to do with them.  I love the charms you have offered us like the bracelets and necklaces…it keeps us focused on the road of sobriety knowing that if we allow ourselves to entertain the idea of social drinking or worse, actually try it, then we will find ourselves plunging into a proverbial snowbank that we may or may not be able to crawl out from.”


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Reading these posts, Belle’s archive and taking advantage of all the tools she offers has been so helpful to me. I used to pour a glass of wine as soon as I came home from work. Drink too much and wake up hungover and “get through the day” until I got home and start the routine all over again. I wasn’t living. I was existing. Day 51 and I can look in the mirror again and I am being kind to myself. There’s so much I want to do with this new found life but right now just looking around and enjoying and appreciating what I do have… Right now. Today. Sending love and encouragement to everyone out there on his/her sober journey. Denise

  • Feeling so grateful that you are all here. Thank you Belle and community. my first time coming out of lurk land and posting a hello. expressing my gratitude sparked my courage and plus i am having some white knuckle moments today. Today is day 10 for me. For some unknown reason, this has been by far, my toughest day. I have been waking each day feeling so much better…clear and present and so much more energy. That in itself is a built in reinforcement for me. I can see that my love affair with wine was sucking the life out of me. I have had moments of hearing wolfie whisper or call to me, but today wolfie is howling! Riding the waves and breathing through it. Telling myself that caving is not an option. There is nothing good in that glass for me. wolfie fucking leave me alone!

    • Hang in there! Ten days is great! I know exactly what you mean……I am on day 7 of my stop-and-start sobriety quest, and I still get VERY strong cravings. But, oh–these mornings of being clear-headed are wonderful!

  • Wow, what excellent, excellent posts and comments! There is palpable collective power in this group of people all tied to the same goal, all anonymous, but all connected through Belle and the desire for a shiny, sober life.

    I’m loving and laughing about the total beat downs Wolfie has been getting left and right, he must be more than shocked to deal with such outright rejection! We are on to how much trouble he caused us, and we are kicking him to the curb. Day 84 and guys, I can honestly say that Wolfie really does get better, easier and more manageable with each day, and week.

    Even though I don’t know any of you personally, I can say honestly that each of you (and Belle of course) keep me going, and going! Kudos to everyone in Team100, wherever you are in this journey!!! Xoxo Hana

  • Last night was the end of a hard day at work. In the past, this would have meant meeting some of my lawyer buddies at the local lawyer bar for about 3- 4 beers, minimum, on the way home.

    So I got in my cold car at the end of the day and that little fucking wolf tried to make a run at me. We all know the what it said, because we have heard it before, so many times. Honestly, I just started chuckling at that voice, and treated it like a harmless little gremlin trying to harm me and my family.* My feeling was one of contempt. My exact words to wolfie: “why you little mother fucker. That ain’t happening. Nice try, though.” I actually laughed at it, and gave it the verbal finger.

    And then when I drive past the lawyer bar, directly on my way home, I looked in through the large floor to ceiling window and saw some of my pals in their usual place, assuming their usual posture, and perhaps wondering where I have been lately…

    *Yes, my family too, I must (but hate to) admit. I was, after all, in my car, getting ready to drive. I don’t even want to think about how many times I have driven when I shouldn’t have over the years.

  • Good luck to all of us, yes wolfie is right around the corner ready to bounce. WE HAVE TO BE VIGILANT!
    Cherish and protect our decision to be Alcohol Free.

  • I just want to say, I feel so luck to be here. Thank you Belle and to all the other fabulous posters. Working on day 4 of my 100 day challenge and beyond.

  • Great posts! There was something that spoke to me in every one. I’m only 35 days in, but one big change in my thinking is that I’m not afraid of Wolfie anymore. Not that I don’t think he’s not out there waiting for me, but that I will have the tools and support–the choice!–to tell him to go to hell if he jumps in front of me. And making that choice every day just opens up a world of choices to me that couldn’t be there when I was drinking because my days were so consumed with thinking about drinking, drinking, hiding my drinking, recovering from drinking, promising myself I wouldn’t drink tomorrow, and on and on. I’m still a little overwhelmed by all the choices I have available to me now, but that’s getting better too. I’ve picked a couple–regular exercise and better diet–and am focusing on those right now. As my brain clears, my depression lifts, and my energy returns, I am better able to sort out other things I would like to add to my day. Thank you Belle and company!!

  • Marge I can relate to the getting pissed off and wanting a drink. When that adrenaline hits and it feels like my heart in pounding out of my chest it seems the only thing that can calm me down is a drink. The funny thing is now that I am not drinking I don’t get pissed off as often. So drinking to “calm down” was only fueling the anger. Such a vicious cycle. *SMH*

  • Belle,

    Just read your post – and want to respond to what I read about your de-clutter class (which I wish I listened to but didn’t). Is there still a way I can buy listening to it?

    You know how I’ve been wanting to get a handle on how I take care of myself? I want to eat better and exercise more, drink more water and less coffee/coke. I’m at my 6 month sobriety mark and I’ve tried a few different approaches to being healthier but nothing has stuck. I’ve been thinking about how the 100 day commitment to sobriety worked for me, and how keeping track of days or little details or calories doesn’t work for me. So I transferred these things to my exercise/eating/want to be healthier issues and here’s what I’ve come up with.

    For 100 days I promised to exercise every day for 30 minutes and drink 64 oz of water. I started 3 days ago and so far it is easy. I know that when I’m exercising I automatically eat better (why eat way the calories I’ve burned). And I know that some days exercise might just be a 30 minute power walk and some days might be a 45 minute bike ride/spin class or hour long yoga class or exercise tape. For now, I’m starting off with easy stuff just to get back to the point where I NEED to exercise because my body wants to. We thankfully have an old spin bike and I’ve strung up a DVD player to the handle bars – get to watch movies while I bike is loads of fun. So I’m on day 3 and day 100 lands on my birthday. Hopefully my waistline will be slimmer and I’ll be healthier.

    There is something about needing 100 days to change habits – and something about doing just a little every day that makes this feel manageable. I forget if I emailed you this link – but this woman inspired meto do this.

    Yay! Meg

  • Every day, evvveeerrrrrryyyyy daaaaaay — between the blog posts or your email blasts there is perfect wisdom in the words from Belle and community that resonate — “walking with my Belle and Community armor” could be a song!