i’m happy to report that i’m back to work at my regular job, catering is busy this week, and my health seems stable and 100%. all good news as far as i’m concerned. oh and i’m running!
I had the beginnings of a very interesting conversation yesterday with Tim about how we manage our careers… and i think, as boozers, we’re all so prone to seeing things in black and white (me included), that once we realize that there are shades of grey, it really is like we can embark on a new adventure.
Have you ever had this thought: I can’t do X because of Y. Sure you have. We have those thoughts all day, every day. I can’t pursue my passion because I need a day job. I can’t go to the mall to get detergent because i have to pick up the kids. I can’t start the lasagne sauce now because it’s 8 a.m. and i don’t want to smell the sauce all day long.
i am going to write and think and do podcasts about this subject, because our default setting of black/white thinking means that we miss the other squillion options. do you have to go to the mall to get detergent? I mean aren’t there other stores? Yes, the mall may be cheaper, but there are other stores that are closer, take less time, and then the task will be done and you can get it out of your head. Frankly, removing the item from your to-do list is worth more than 35 cents. Cuz really, saving 35 cents and putting it off for 10 days or until you have the ‘right’ time to get to the mall when the planets align is just crazy making and exhausting.
Or in my case, the catering example, because this just happened to me this morning … up early, i start baking, but i leave the cooking stuff aside, saying to myself that it’s too early. Oh really? Is there a magic hour that cooking with garlic is OK? Like would 9 a.m. be OK but 8 a.m. isn’t? And if there is a magic garlic time (and clearly there isn’t), then i could do one squillion other things towards making the lasagne at 8 a.m. I could grate the mozza, i could prep the sauce to cook but not turn on the heat and instead put the pot in the fridge. I could start the fucking sauce at 8 a.m. and just get over myself.
what’s your I can’t do X because of Y thought today ? I can’t get sober until the planets are aligned. I can’t sing because i’m not good enough to make a living at it. I can’t start a knitting project until i finish every single other project i’ve ever started in my whole life first. I can’t sell birthday cakes because someone else already does that in my town. I can’t pursue my passion because it won’t make me rich.
I love this shit. really really love this. for some reason, i really like examining what we think (what I think) and WHY. and then flipping it on its head. the queen of reframing.
now let me go reframe that lasagne sauce.
Love this one–I have a whole list of “can’t do x because of y.” Now you have me thinking on them.
I am impressed with what you have done, guess I am still lurking.
Ok, im most interested in your sauce recipe, cause I’m all Martha S. ninja and what not these days, and I could use a new feat to fight.. Also, how bout a good old fashioned hangover gets in the way of doing everything beautiful in my life? I’m so fucking over it.. It is suck an easy excuse over and over.. I’m so ok with being sober, everything else is just fine.. Xo
P.s. you still are pod casting? I miss your voice.. Ill check into this..
I am podcasting, Lex, you can sign up again if you’re able. And my lasagne sauce recipe is pretty simple: garlic, sausages, canned tomatoes, basil, fennel seeds, chilli, salt and then cook the shit out of it for 2 hrs.
I call these things Invisible Fences- boundaries that rule our behaviour without our actually seeing that they exist. I now get deliriously happy whenever one somehow becomes visible, and take great delight in whacking down the fence with my invisible axe/light saber! Each time = a bit more freedom to be real and authentic!
yes, truth. invisible fences indeed. they’re like logic loops that play out without us even realizing it’s happening …
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!! oh heavens, the obligation to do things just the most sensibly RIGHT way– ALL THE TIME. So much black/white thinking and it IS so VERY crazy making and exhausting.
I’ve been lurking around your blog for a couple weeks– this post demanded a good solid “Amen” though!
As with your other writing, thanks for sharing; I have 86 days and a whoooole lot to learn. (… things like the word “squillion” for instance. To think I might never have acquired that if I hadn’t sobered up! 🙂 )
How about I can’t start my sewing project because I have to remove all the Christmas decorations from my house including the tree.
how about you do thirty minutes of your sewing project for every hour of Christmas decoration clean-up : )