… and then we take on the world

From my inbox:

Committed (day 6): “Still feel foggy headed but I have had terrible cold which started before I gave up drinking.  Bit disappointed that normally I would over these five days have drunk 5 bottles of wine and 5 very large glasses of Baileys but I have not lost any weight!  I think my skin definitely looking better :-).  Turned down a weekend away which I would love to go to but this early in my journey the drinking temptation would be there and I don’t want to risk it.”

me: dear you, you’re going to hate me saying this but you will not (likely) lose any weight in the first 90 days sober.  Sober first, everything else second 🙂 it just all takes more time. but it does come 🙂 I also didn’t socialize much outside my home in the first 6 weeks – smart girl you are to take care of yourself.

Committed: “Thanks Belle, I don’t understand the weight loss as I must be at least 6000 calories deficit in 5 days – I know I have been eating more sweet stuff but not that much lol xx. If I had carried on drinking and put myself on a healthy diet food wise in 90 days I could lose nearly 2 stone?  The weight loss was a big thing for me :(”

me: true 🙂 I’m not a dietician. I can only report what I’ve experienced myself and what others in the challenge report. Weight loss will happen, but more slowly that you are imagining.  As boozers we are very impatient. Part of getting sober is to realize that yes, it all happens, it just takes time.  quitting drinking specifically to lose weight will be disappointing in the short term, but successful in the longer term.  I guess probably it’s not just about calories in/out. cuz we eat differently when we’re drinking too, and it all has to shift around … our metabolisms have to adjust … quitting drinking ‘to be sober’ is great because it means that losing weight (later) is possible … as are other big changes you want to make in your life.  sober first. everything else second (she says again, in an irritating way).

Committed: “Thanks Belle – hope you don’t think I am the argumentative one lol – just like to understand stuff.  If I think about it, most nights I never ate supper as I filled myself up with wine – now I am eating supper and sweets!  Also doing no exercise and having been off work for a month not even moving around generally so none of that helps … I hear what you say and will put my sobriety first and foremost.”

me:  🙂 I’ve seen a lot of people quit being sober because they load on too many goals at the same time (especially “give up” goals…). Getting sober is hard and takes a certain amount of singular focus. and then it’s easier, and then we take on the world 🙂  That I promise.

~

original art, thanks to mr.belle
anti-wolfie fridge magnet, 3″ x 3″, signed and numbered
this is magnet 371 > link
stay here. stay focussed. stay true to you. stay sober.

link

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • So… I did the sober challenge before and actually made it to 180 days and then relapsed so I’m back. I actually did lose weight -16 lbs. But…it was mainly after 90 days. Who knows why. Maybe I was over having sweets instead of wine, maybe I was eating healthier, maybe, maybe…
    So it does happen but as Belle and others point out, the focus right now is losing alcohol.

  • I completely agree with the metabolism comment. My body was so used to having a liquid diet in and out so fast, it learned to be lazy with digestion with no solid food, it didn’t know what to do and had a rebellious few months. I did crave sugar in the beginning, but I ate food not because I was hungry or craving anything- it was the hand to mouth motion habit I was missing (I had come to this conclusion a few months ago) after 6 months or so, my sugar cravings disappeared and my eating was normal; I began to lose the weight I had gained in the first few months of sobriety. I did mind at first (I was actually quite horrified) but I then realised I’d rather gain weight and lose it later than keep drinking and lose my life forever.

  • Day 5 – The last time I quit drinking it took 4 mos before I lost any weight but that was 10 years ago. Now I’m almost 50 trying it again and I don’t think it will happen as easily as it did then. The longer you wait the harder it is. It’s harder to change your routines, habits, lose weight, quit drinking…everything is harder the older you get. If you have quit drinking stay quit. It won’t be easier next time.

  • I’m going through this issue now and find myself very frustrated by it. One of my major reasons for quitting drinking was to lose weight. I haven’t increased my other calories or my sugar intake. Just going to continue to move forward. Day 22. No weight loss but AF.

  • Hey, everyone. I’m on day 80 and although no weight loss yet, I have much more energy and am feeling stronger and more capable in my life overall. I’m getting good exercise regularly and enjoying how much better I feel. I trust Belle because all of her advice and predictions to date have been spot on! So I’m resisting the urge to make weight loss a specific goal for the moment. I truly believe all the good stuff is built on a strong sober foundation.

  • you were right: I hated hearing you say this over and over again … but weight loss didn’t happen in the first week, neither in the first month, neither in the first year. I’m not even sure if it’s really happening now (I’m 555 days sober), because I threw my scales away years ago. but I can tell that my jeans are a bit loose and that’s only been possible after also being bulimia-free for over 200 days (starting after the first 200 sober days) AND not really care about the weight thing. I know, I know, I would also hate someone saying shit like that … sorry! 😉

  • Hi, I’m on day 57 and have not lost any weight yet. I have a tendancy to overload on sweets when I don’t drink, which I’m sure makes up for any calorie deficit from cutting out the alcohol. Wine is a form of sugar to me – so no wine = replace with sugar. I decided to put off the reducing sugar goal until I feel comfortable with the no wine goal. Even though I’m not losing weight at least I feel 100% better than when I overload on wine.

  • Hi Belle, thanks for all you do and for sharing this. I’m on day 22 and feeling good, but not skinny 😉 That’s ok.

  • 305 days (!) and not a single ounce has left my body AND I’m a very active person – gym, swimming, walking daily because I like it. Guess what ? I LOVE being sober- it has nothing to weight. Just as I get mad at all the tv shows, adverts, etc. promoting alcohol … I also get mad at those who promote sobriety for weight loss… just don’t get into the argument… leave it alone. Focus on your mental health.

  • Ugh….. weight.
    Well I was sort of hoping for weight maintenance as part of my (other) problem is a long history of an eating disorder.
    So unfortunately being sober has just highlighted my struggles in that area.
    So yes I think I did lose weight after about 6 months sober; but that also came with a struggle to eat enough .
    Maybe I’m not the right person to comment on this topic.
    I think what I can say is it’s helped me realise my need to fuel my body regularly so I don’t run out of energy ( which I find a challenge) and it’s at least made me appreciate that my body needs nutrients. I guess that approach helps rather than “calories “…. so I would say to anyone struggling with weight…to focus on good nutrition; in regular small amounts.
    In the early days though the cravings for sugar was huge and I did have puddings in the evening instead of drinking….that helped to curb the cravings.
    I guess the aim is for a healthy body AND a healthy mind……( but I’m not a good example of that!)

    I did read somewhere about our bodies metabolism changes after stopping alcohol….I know I used to drink instead of eat…and I suppose the empty calories just got used somewhere.
    So my aim now is to eat as healthily as I can manage and to try not to focus on weight.
    Someone once said to me that I’m not my body…the “me” inside is the real me…. that helped somewhat 🙂

  • The weight issue is becoming a huge issue for me. Would love to hear from others who passed through this when they were well into their sobriety. At least over 90/120 days I believe. Thankyou. 54 days sober. And yes, this site IS a godsend. x

    • Julie,

      I am on day 265, and the weight is coming off. But it didn’t start right away, and I was rather bummed about that. But I think the internal systems, especially the liver, need time to fully rebound before they can best serve us.
      In early sobriety I was eating a lot of homemade chocolate pudding as my sober treat. Oh it was so good, warm and luscious, a comfort food from my childhood. And back in the early days you couldn’t have given me a mango as a treat. I surely rolled my eyes at that notion.

      As time moved on my need for a sweet fix dimished – maybe around month 7. I still wanted them, but not so much. By month 9 I had no sugar cravings. My chemist neighbor tells me I fixed my gut balance . I don’t know much about that.

      Now I have my sweet treat on the weekend to appease Wolfie, so I don’t feel deprived. Now I enjoy some luscious fruit as a treat, or an avocado, or herbal tea, or a BeKind bar, or a yoga class, or flowers, or a movie.

      Early on I read both of Jason Vale’s books – one on stopping drinking, the other on stopping sugar. They both helped. I didn’t know if or when I would give up sugar. I’m happy that my body let it go rather than having to do so by will power.

      I’m down 20 pounds with minimal effort.

      Give it time, focus more on health choices, and remember as Belle says – sobriety first, the rest will come.

      Kitkatpaddywack

  • I am on day 20 and crave sweet things all the time,I never used to when i drank , it has started to lessen in the past few days so hopefully weight loss will follow. Today has been a bit anxious but i am drinking my cups of tea and looking forward to day 21, this site is a godsend

  • I’m down a few lbs. (Day35) but I have awoken my ice cream addiction so I’m sure that will change. I feel so much better and my face is not a puffy mess. The energy and clear headedness are worth it. I was beginning to think I had a memory problem. That was all I needed a wine AND memory problem !! So, one down, one to go…hee… hee…

  • Hooray for all the 50-100-200 daysers!
    Here another surprised woman who did’nt lose much weight while before taking in a bottle of wine/some beers a day and eating a lot of unhealty food like crips with it. But now I am eating more coockies etc. and finally (30 something days) I really begin to look so much better: face less puffy, beer/wine belly a bit flatter, eyes clearer etc. Not only weight is important, also how you feel/look. And not drinking I do more yoga, nordic walking etc. so suppose (and feel) some fat must have changed to muscle and that’s a very good thing to happen. When you start to exercise more it will happen, I’m sure. Just keep up the good spirit, 6/7 days is early days 😉
    Love, N.Maya

  • Congratulations to all you 50, 100 and 200 dayers out there! WOOT WOOT
    And on the weight loss front. I too thought that I would lose weight at the start considering you consume so many calories eating crappy food to go along with the bottles of wine. But, alas. Maybe we were peeing out the calories faster than we thought?? LOL (just kidding) SOBER FIRST 🙂

    • Congratulations to everyone who reached a milestone! I’ve gained weight since I quit drinking 32 days ago. Like Committed I was drinking at least a bottle of wine per day and thought for sure I’d drop some weight. Hasn’t happened. My skin looks fabulous now that I’m not dehydrated from the alcohol so I’ll be happy with that. My backside is widening and I am sober. I loved it when Belle said in the sober jumpstart, “Sobriety First. Everything else second”. I will lose the weight but for now I am focusing only on my sobriety.

  • Did you write this for me? This post speaks to me big time. I’m in the early days of trying to tackle 2 huge issues (quit drinking AND smoking). My past attempts at taking on these 2 at once have resulted in epic “F*ck It” moments…I’m trying to be superlady in doing it all at once…I’m scared I’m taking on too much and am setting myself up for another major crash & burn…currently questioning things, perhaps I should only focus on my sobriety first and then…I can take on the world. Thanks for this Belle.

  • I agree with your final comment about taking on too many things. Having become more clear headed with more energy I want to tackle a million things. Was considering more volunteer opportunities. Then reason took over and my small voice said, you gotta do this sober thing first or all the other things are going to fall by the wayside. Thanks again for all you do.