“Today I choose to do whatever is necessary to live a sober lifestyle”

From my inbox:

Kelly (day 3): “Good morning Belle, Another successful day and evening.  I woke up this morning feeling much better than I have in awhile.  I thought about how nice it was not to have to have a mug of water at my bedside to ease the constant thirst attack.  I realized how much better I slept not having to wake up 3-4 times a night to go pee.  I realized that my mouth no longer feels like someone took a shit in it in the morning.  I realized that my face and belly don’t look/feel so bloated … I realized that I was able to stay up until 9:00 p.m. watching something the news and remember what I watched.  I realized that I had a phone conversation with a friend at 8:00 p.m. and can recall the details of that discussion.

But most of all, I realize how I have single-handedly harmed myself more than all the abusers/neglecters of my past.  I have a choice, I always did.  Today, I choose to stop poisoning my body and mind.  Today I choose to move forward and focus on today.  Today I choose to do whatever is necessary to live a sober lifestyle.  Today I choose to use the tools and reach out to those like you (and your followers) whenever I start feeling stuck and moving in the wrong direction.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Belle.  If there is a heaven, you are certain to have a front row seat.”

From me:

I got to run today! i can’t tell you how happy i am right now. after weeks and weeks and weeks of stooopid health stuff, i finally was given the green light to run again… now, don’t get all excited, i did something very light (10 x 1 minutes with walking in between) … but i’m not kidding, i feel like i could leap a tall building!

This is something i KNOW about me. I KNOW that i feel better when i run. it doesn’t even matter how long, 10 minutes is fine. I KNOW this to be true. And since this is a new year, i’m going to put my needs first this year (it’s about fucking time). I need to run to feel better. it’s not about weight loss (but losing pounds is nice) and it’s not about fitness (though surely that’s a lovely side-benefit, too). It’s about how I FEEL after I run. I feel successful. I feel like I’ve done something with my day. I feel more relaxed. I feel more even.

i run to control my mood. i’ve known that for a long time. it’s the fastest way i know to change my ‘state’ and to get myself out of a funky mood.

Other things that work for me (these things don’t work as well as running, but they still work): singing along to loud music, playing guitar, developing a new recipe that actually works, laughing, a big long bath, clean sheets.

your list might include patting a puppy, smelling a baby, or taking pictures in abandoned buildings (are you out there?).

and being a list-making girl, i like to make a list of things that can my mood. Because when i’m in a funky place i seem to forget what would make me happy!

you?

~

i also did a subscriber podcast on changing states/moods, sort of like changing the channel on a radio. It’s SP#17 “Sleep & Changing the Channel.”