soon come

thanks everyone for your well-wishes and for your patience as i catch up on emails. i’m nearly there! i’m also feeling really good today, mostly still in shock that i’m feeling so well so quickly. turns out my sister has the same thing with her heart electricity but in a lesser stage (she’s younger), but since we’re not in regular communication she didn’t know my situation until i went into the hospital on thursday. it might be a way of us connecting again, and for that i’d be happier than happy.

today i’m going to turn off the computer, make banana muffins, finish my book (The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer – one of the top 5 books i’ve read this year, thanks to KC for the recommendation). i’m going to do a load of laundry. and i might cook dinner for the first time in weeks. or maybe not πŸ™‚

i’m behind in posting team 100 celebration dates, but i haven’t forgotten you. i’ll post again tomorrow.


Got this question from Old_Dude29 (day 22): “Please tell me that vacationing will be fun if I am sober. Β Right now, I have no interest in going anywhere. Β A trip to Hawaii even sounds boring (not currently planning one). Β It’s hard for me to see into the future as a sober person. Some thoughts on that would be a wonderful exchange.”

and here’s my answer:

it’s hard to see anything in the first 30 days. you’re really going to feel preoccupied with being sober. people often complain that they’re tired of thinking about NOT drinking, and i say yes that goes away on its own after about 30-60 days, once you’ve got all your tools in place and you begin to feel more secure. for me it was 60 days. being sober is kind of overwhelming in that booze affected our WHOLE LIVES, so it takes a while to disassemble and reassemble.

sober vacations are really amazing gifts. you don’t lose three hours in the afternoon to ‘naps’ from overdrinking at lunch. you have less jet lag (cuz you drink water when flying instead of booze). you sleep better on vacation, you spend less money, and you feel fucking proud of your rockstar self. You are more present, enjoy the scenery and the food more, and are more content.

that you can’t imagine yet a sober vacation doesn’t mean anything.

it just means you’re not there yet πŸ™‚ each day you experience as a sober dude adds more experiences to your memory bank, and after a while you really will realize that sober anything is better.Β  sober ice cream is better (no guilt calories). sober reading is better (you can remember the last 10 pages!). sober laughs are hilarious. sober online shopping is better (fewer random purchases). and sober vacations are better (beach, sand, orange shortbread cookies, a camel or two, or a wave or two, or a mountain or two).

that you can’t imagine it yet is fine.Β  as the Jamaicans say, “soon come.”


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Day 9 – Wonderful question. I’m in the stages of how can this be “forever” ruminating fear, that includes vacations. The past decade has included many vacations with the hubby. Mexico with cheap tequila shots, beach vacations with all day cocktails and mountain vacations with peppermint vodka. As I wrote that, I just remembered, they also included hangovers, alcohol induced arguments (at minimum one) twinges of ‘everyone drinks this much on vacation, right?’ Along with a side of: aren’t you all dying for a drink!! while at Disneyland with other families, who by the way, weren’t as far as I could tell.

    I’m taking it one day at a time, but, I’m also mourning what my brain is trying to tell me that went hand in hand – good times and alcohol.

    Belle, your answer was wonderful, and truly gave me a twinge of hope for the future outings. πŸ™‚

    I’ve only lurked two days, and look, already commenting lol.
    Take care

  • It just gets better. I am at about 18 months on my sober journey, with 2 slips and about 280 days sober and, let me tell ya: it just takes a while. And, all you have to do is keep not drinking. I truly had myself convinced that I would never feel like doing much sober, EVER–vacation, eating dinner, watching a movie, let alone work, writing, paying the bills. Now, I see that I was just telling myself stories that weren’t true–I see that I was doing that a lot, worrying about future events that I was making up to happen. Now, I might have a pang once in a while, but doing things sober has become the norm–doing things drunk seems like a bygone era, a past that used to be but no longer is. I don’t really think about not drinking anymore, which is such–well, relief is an understatement. I feel free. It takes a while, but it will happen, is what I’m saying!!! Hang in there, and just keep doing shit sober, no matter what you feel or think about it! xxx

      • You’ll get there, wren 1450, keep on believing and doing. Act the way you want your life to be and your life becomes that after a while. Sober sleep is the best, sober awakening-even better. Food more fun, books and music much more interesting. I’m here to cheer you on as are tons of others. You go, Wren, hang in there.

  • Old Dude, I felt the same way for a while–a sober vacation sounded like outright WORK. But I spent a week in Sedona, Arizona around day 120 or so and by then it was just fine–a delight, really. More time, more energy, more calm. Sure, I had a couple of awkward-feeling ‘oh, this is when I would have been drinking before’ moments, but they passed quickly. Honestly, it was one of the best vacations in memory. It just takes time to get comfortable with the idea–don’t worry that a fun sober vacation sounds like crazy talk right now, it’s very early days and a LOT of stuff probably sounds crazy that won’t later on. πŸ™‚


  • I am 7 days sober and will actually be going to Negril, Jamaica (party central) at 47 days sober! To get through Christmas, New Years, and my 1st vacation sober will be a major accomplishment. Feeling strong, resolute, and positive about it!

  • hi belle and hi everyone~
    just caught up on the blog. SOOO glad to hear that you are doing better and all is OK on the health front! phew!
    just read a little bit about The Interestings and it sounds like a great read- and my library even has it- woot woot! would you mind sharing a few of the other books you’ve read recently that you’ve liked? this sober reading before bed thing is pretty awesome.

    • Hi Moon–I’ll chime in since I’m the KC who recommended The Interestings (which is *wonderful*–read it!) to Belle. Some of my other favorite books of the year are The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, A Dual Inheritance by Joanna Hershon, and Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. Oh, and if you like The Interestings, you’re in luck because Meg Wolitzer has written a bunch of other books too–The Position is the best of her back catalog, I think. Happy sober reading. πŸ™‚


  • Old Dude (if you’re truly old, like me) you’ve probably spent more than a few years drinking, and it is a hard habit to see past. I’ll admit that the same question crossed my mind when I first went sober (it’s been 100 or so days, I’m not really counting – Belle does that for me!), and it still crops up once in a while. I’m not sure how to respond to that little voice (ignore it, mostly). But I will tell you that so many other things, and so much of your life becomes better that the thought of no alcohol becomes less and less important to you. I still wonder about it, I’m still looking for alternative refreshments (especially when in a public setting), but the fact that I’m not doing stupid shit, I’m not feeling like shit the next day, I’m not making my loved ones worry about me….those thoughts take precedence over not drinking.

  • Am on first sober holliday in Marocco and can testify: it is MORE then ok without alcohol. I rise every morning feeling fit and can see and do a lot more then in my drinking days. Also nice: not robbed because of being drunk, saving a lot of money and however I am with (moderately) drinking companie: no one gives a ratts ass if I drink or not indeed!

    (former lurker, day 22)
    Nuchter Maya

  • I remember that feeling…like the air was let out of my balloon….flat feeling. Not able to imagine going or doing most things without my wine. I spent a good amount of time frozen on the couch…drinking tea…and just getting thru the evening in those early months. It’s true that after a good amount of time and more sober experiences started stacking up and you realize “i can do this sober”, then you will GO like the wind! πŸ™‚

    • I’m right there with ya Old Dude. I can’t imagine a sober vacation ( with just hubby & our boys because I’d never drink in front of my parents whom we vacationed with 2 times this year) or espically the summer!! We go boating on the lake every weekend & everyone drinks!! Can’t wrap my brain around that yet!! I’m holding out hoping I’ll feel like Belle says after a longer period of time sober. I’m 35 days so far. Thanks for asking that question , it’s helped me to just chill the hell out…..I’m not going on vacation anytime soon!