I’m editing April 2013 to go into the PDF collection and I came across this great rant:
wolfie, you’re an evil evil pig-fucker. you’re a gigantic anus. imagine. waiting around for poor girls to feel weak or tired or vulnerable. shame on you. wolfie, honestly, i’m writing this message to the universe to let everyone know that i’m ON to you, motherfucker. you will NOT fuck with me. I’m doing my best to work and run and sleep and handle my life, and you will leave me the fuck alone. I’m not kidding. I’ll sick the sobersphere on you, wolfie. you’re no match for the team of friends I have on MY side, wolfie. I maybe have never stood up to you before like I am now, but i am not alone anymore wolfie. it’s not just you and me in a dark room without witnesses. everybody is watching you now wolfie. you’re outnumbered. we know your shit. stay the fuck away from me. i’ve got friends with guns, wolfie.
I still feel this way now. I feel like i have everyone on my side if i start to wobble. I don’t wobble much these days (thank god). But one thing wolfie likes is to get us alone. So the sooner we tell someone we’re feeling weird, the more likely it is that wolfie will slink away. he’s really a bully. shine a light in his eyes and he’s much less fierce.
~
i sent out a microemail a couple of days ago called “Married to a beer man.” (If you missed it because you’re not on the list, then … well, you know. get on it.
The short version is that Sunny was worried about quitting drinking because her husband is a booze professional.
Here’s some of the feedback that we got from readers, thanks everybody – there was lots more than this but here’s a few.
Lynda: “Sunny totally can DO IT !~! I was married to a beer distributor when I quit and although I resented my husband telling his customers that I loved the wine coolers (which were relatively new thirty years ago) I was able to not drink and stick to juices. I learned to like cranberry juice with a twist of lime back then. It is totally possible to be safe and sober while others around you don’t quit. I am so proud of you, Sunny, four days is GREAT !~! Stay the course and keep writing. I’ll be waiting to hear from you regularly.”
Laurel: “I’m married to a man that drinks every day. Starts late afternoon until he falls asleep. At first I thought it would be impossible for me to quit. That is just an excuse I used to keep drinking. I’m on day 27!”
Rebecca: “I totally think she can do it. I live in a house with booze. It’s hard at first, and perhaps she can ask her husband to make some concessions in the first month or so, like she doesn’t have to attend any huge events with him or something. But I think it’s very possible :)”
Shell Bell: “It’s a great challenge, but I don’t think it will hinder you from sobriety. You don’t mention anything about “beer” being your go to beverage of choice”… so with that said- go for it, meaning- The 100 day challenge. You will be the best sober wife, full of energy- and a successful business woman to boot! Alcohol is all around us, so no time like the present to get it going on the commitment. I have a friend who HATES avocados (who hates avocados??? crazy!)- anyway- he is the number importer of the beautiful green food, and he NEVER eats them (gives me lots of them!!)….. what we sell is not always our favorite, sometimes it is our calling…. Keep the days sunny Sunny- ! Celebrating Day 10…. of sober sunshine!”
“wolfie, you’re an evil evil pig-fucker. you’re a gigantic anus.” LOL! Oh my gosh, YES, this is exactly what I needed to read on a Monday morning the week before Christmas. Count me one of those friends with guns, wolfie. You come for one of us, you’ve picked a fight with all of us. And we will FIGHT BACK, bitch!
Whoe could forget ‘evil pig fucker’??.. ha ha something I would say.
I have a boyfriend that drinks daily too. We don’t live in the same town so it will be interesting to see the dynamic when I am there at Christmas. It is actually keeping me sober just to wonder what it is going to be like. I want to make sure our relationship can withstand this change. Does that sound goofy? Day 12.
Katiebelle, no it doesn’t sound goofy at all. Alcohol can make or break a relationship as you may have seen when you were drinking. But now you’re not drinking and you have so much more to live for and to go on. I’m very interested in hearing how it goes if you’re inclined to share after you return from the Holiday extravaganza. I’m proud of you for holding your boundaries-breath mints and the like. That’s determination and a key to success.
Kiss the Wolfie good-bye and say Hello to your new Life of Sober. It’s really great and you will feel so much better as time goes by. It’s truly remarkable.
thank you for the encouragement Lynda. I will keep you posted 🙂
Agree – Sunny CAN do it! Think about it in terms of a health problem. If her husband was a baker and did bridal shows and catering where lots of desserts were presented, served and enjoyed in front of her, BUT she was a diabetic or had food allergies, it would be the same deal. It’s easier (for me at least) to think of Wolfie as a food allergy. Remind yourself of how terrible alcohol is for you, and the scenarios it creates. That makes it much easier to pass it up. I can go to events or serve it without drinking it myself.
On partners: my boyfriend isn’t a daily drinker, but he does like a beer or mixed drink now and then. I have said to him, “I NEED to stay sober. This isn’t a negotiable, and if I have to pick your company or my sobriety, I’d pick the latter. So, I’d like to ask you to please not have alcohol on your breath (chew gum after a drink or something), because it’s a trigger for me. ” I’ve also passed up on going to some events with him – like dinners at the homes of friends who drink heavily – because I know they’re not a safe place.
I will be 30 days sober on Monday. Wolfie can f- himself and go to hell. I don’t want to be playing the Day 1 game for the rest of my life. I’m getting too old for his sh*t, and I have living to do.
Oh, I DO love that rant. (and remember reading it way back then!!) I totally FEEL it now though. When I first read it, I don’t think I got it. But I’m 100 percent guns loaded now. Just try it, wolfie. MAKE MY DAY 🙂