Mauri (day 11):
Before I found out about you Belle, I thought about going to AA. I just can’t bring myself to sitting in a room with a group of people and admit I’m a alcoholic. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it …. unfortunately alcoholic can be such a nasty word! I believe my problem is also a behavioral issue. I see a counselor once a week … He was surprised when I told him about you and that I was doing the 100 day challenge. I wish I had found you sooner. I do believe things happen for the right reason and at the right time. I’m glad I found you and your website.
I told my husband about Wolfie. So if he heard mumbling under my breath saying fuck you Wolfie it wasn’t him I was talking to or my cat.
I hope I didn’t sound like to much a nut job!”
me:
you sound just like me, so if we’re nutty, we’re in it together!”
Dubby and Mauri (and everyone else, because we all get to read this)…you can do this. You can do today with no alcohol, and then in twenty-four hours, you can do today with no alcohol. It’s not that I’m afraid to say to someone that I sometimes drank too much and I did stupid things under the influence of wolfie, it’s more doing so in front of people that I might have to do other things with, where I need to be confident and in control….I can’t always put my vulnerabilities out there like that. So I do this in cyberspace – and maybe down the road, when I meet some of you f2f, it’ll be cool because you’ll know me but you won’t….it’s day 99 for me. (And it has been a long, long time since I had that many alcohol-free days).
Mauri- u r so right on, I hate at aa meetings to have to say hello. I’m an alcoholic, I feel so small & shitty. Belle , thank u so much for being here. I have to just stay focused!
And Dubby, you CAN stay focussed cuz we’re all here pulling for you and being sober beside you. We’re pulling FOR you, not pulling you. Only you can pull and you’ve decided so you’re doing it. Hang in there, write Belle a lot, she’s the best; shower, sleep (my favorite coping mechanism), read if you want, eat soup and salty crackers, maybe a walk. I have Never been to a meeting either; can’t even imagine standing up and saying something to a group… Whew, gives me the gut roll just considering it; no thanks. We’re here, we have each other.
I agree. Belle definitely turned up at the perfect moment!
I told my husband the same thing! He knows about ‘Wolfie’…so at a party we were hosting this summer for my mom’s 70th….i felt the pressure of not having a cocktail with most others…so I walked over to my hubby and whispered in his ear…’damn wolfie’. He looked at me, smiled and gave me his Coke! I took a sip and some deep breaths and felt better! The damn wolfie was crushed by the sweet sugar cane of Coke! I learned after that party that… “you don’t have to drink alcohol to have a GOOD time”! 🙂
Glad you found Belle! She is pretty special !
Mauri:
I agree with you totally. Although I have gone to AA meetings and still go occasionally, I could never really wrap my head around the principles. I agree that things happen for a reason at the right time. Belle–you must be on a perpetual high when you think of all the people you have guided down the sober path.
Joan B.