CatGirl:
[my dad said about my sobriety] ‘So far, so good, but I have serious doubts long term. It’s far too easy to hide and evade the truth online’ … He won’t be satisfied until I’m going to four meetings a week. That much is obvious. Am I missing something here? I thought the point of all of this was for me to get sober and be happy.”
me:
look at what he’s saying. “so far so good” … and yes it is easy to hide online. But he hasn’t surveyed your communications so he’s expressing a general worry for someone he loves.
Yes, you ARE doing it differently than he thinks you are. And you’re going to show him how long term sobriety is possible in way that is different from what he’s doing. He knows one way to be sober that works for him so he wants everyone to do it the same way because this shit is dangerous and he doesn’t want you off doing any alternative medicine shit.
Over time he will see you’re OK. Or maybe he’ll always be worried. Maybe if you were a lesbian he’d be worried forever that you’re missing out on a big dick. Maybe he worries about you.
Yes, he has a terrible way of expressing himself, but it’s entirely totally possible that he loves you. Cuz truly, if he didn’t care, he’d say “whatever” and he’d move on …”
CatGirl:
This made me snort tea out of my nose. Awesome.”
Thanks guys! Talk about laughter therapy. I interpreted his worry as disapproval. But, as always, emotion clouds our perceptions. Belle set me straight with her big dick chat. Hilarious.
OMG Belle what a response! I laughed out loud. CatGirl I think belle is right and parents just worry. Stay strong, he loves you and it pains him you are going thru this like he has.
When I tell my mom don’t worry her reply always is ” I’m a mother so I’m entitled!” Your dad sounds like he really just loves you & wants the best…..even though he may not understand what’s your idea of the best support for you.
” worrying about you being a lesbian & missing out on a big dick.”
Haaa-Haaa Belle I really needed a good laugh!! Mercy! 🙂
How perfectly well worded. It’s our parents’ job to worry. Better this way than to not give a shit. It’s now your job to show him it is possible.
On my way out the door I just have to stop and say “oh my god. Only Belle” and now to stop laughing before I open the door so the neighbors don’t think I have lost my mind-
Perfect response Belle!