PS/ For those of you asking me for an update on Lex (who i interviewed for the podcast series), you can check out her most recent blog post.
Now let’s get to the TITLE of this post. At the risk of attracting even MORE porn traffic to my site for my repeated use of gigantic anus, i wanted to start a post about the incredibly unbelievable and absurd things that Wolfie says to try to convince us to drink.
Hana: “I was at the hairdresser which just so happens to adjoin the market where I often bought wine and beer. I was watching people through the window go in and out of the store, when out of the blue Wolfie loudly declared, ‘this quitting drinking thing is so hard, you should have a drink to make it easier’! Gotta laugh at that one! Thank you so much for giving Wolfie a name befitting the monstrous and irrational trickster that he is, it definitely makes me feel less crazy.”
Regretting that I didn’t get sober sooner but not ready to accept that I may never drink again. Wolfe is a bitch!
So i’m on day 7 , I call it little 7 but wow , it ‘s like I have got springs under my shoes, I feel great ! Now the first six days felt like torture , felt like I had a speaker-phone in my head shouting…COME ON HAVE A DRINK FRIDAY IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY….Well , today is friday , it’s my birthday , i am not drinking and I feel fantastic….FOR NOW. The FOR NOW is so important , cause I realised that once I made the 100 days pledge I just imagined the futur without my poison of choice , vino and became very anxious !!! If I don’ t think too far ahead , than I’ m o.k , calmer.. Day 1 until 6 , flashbacks popping like a giant cinema screen of a lot of idiotic , dangerous, shameful, stupid, un -lady like things that I had done while intoxicated … Like bad flicks …Not nice… Like my brain is trying really hard to help me realise how badly I need to stop this shit !!!
I always been shy , alcool made extroverted…I always was not one to share her feelings so much , alcool made me talk about my chilhood abuse with perfect strangers…aaargh !! Alcool made me get angry , made me fall down and hurt myself, made me avoid to look at myself and my responsabilities , alcool helped me to say FUCK YOU ALL !!Alcool made me waste an enormous amount of time , time spent agonising hungovered on the couch with 2 liters of Diet Pepsi , Doritos and Doctor Phil …made me ashame , lose my pride , made my boyfriend sad and afraid and angry …and I still feel anxious about not drinking again ?????????
don’t worry about forever, or later, or never. Just do the 100 days and then see how you feel. you might like being sober : ) I mean, it’s *possible* : )
I like being sober 😉
Wolfie is such a fucking asshole. He tells me that being sober will be easier with just one drink! And in the past I’ve believed him. Fuck you, Wolfie!
oh I’m sorry this made me laugh! sobriety would be easier if you drank … that’s a good one!
Yeah, well…I convinced myself that I could have a drink occasionally thanks to that line of thinking. NOPE. I can’t. Proved that too many times. I am angry and so pissed off that I want to do some damage to some inatimate onject – knock a hole in the wall, scream at the top of my lungs until my neighbors call the cops, etc. I won’t, of course. Kind of reminds me of that Tom Petty song: Tired of screwing up, tired of going down, tired of this place, tired of this town. My interpretation of that is: Sick of caving to Wolfie, tired of doing things that have serious consequences, tired of being the recent relapser more than once and tired of the emotional place I have to live in for now. NO. Sobriety is easier if I don’t drink and tell Wolfie to fuck off. Whatever it takes….
Wolfie has gone into hibernation for me over the years but never has he died and not come back. I still get his voice saying, “See how successful you have been, you can have just one.” Well, we all know there’s no such thing as one. There are only a million and all the after effects of those million. I resist, sometimes with a chuckle and sometimes with a tear.
Wolfie has been here taunting me tonight, “Remember last Wednesday when you polished off that bottle of wine that you thought tasted like nectar?” “Yes, Wolfie, I remember but my mouth didn’t taste like nectar the next morning.” “You can put your coat on and drive over to the liquor store,” Wolfie says. “No, Wolfie,” I say, “I have 7 days sober and I’d like to have 7 more.” “Ah, come on,” he pleads, “Get that bottle and you can have just one drink – just one, that’s all you need and you won’t feel so on edge.” “You know I won’t have just one so go away, leave me alone,” I say as I go put my PJs on and get ready for bed.” Wolfie slinks away vowing that he’ll be back. I don’t care because I have won for today!!!!
Oh i am betting you are getting porn traffic with some of THESE keywords! Wolfie tells me i will be more relaxed and have more fun and ALL KINDS of other things…still. he is such a damn liar.
I hear Wolfie sweetly say sometimes… “remember when we used to have a good time with wine on date night with hubby?…remember having a glass of wine while you got all dolled up in the bathroom before going out and you felt so relaxed?….remember how it made for a great sex appetizer before going out?…I thought you liked that about me?”
I know this touches on the taboo subject of ‘sex’ (said quietly). But it really got me ‘in the mood’ and so this is what I’ve struggled with the most in the last 15 months. Like I lost my mojo. So in this regard Wolfie is right…but then I think about how the rest of the evening sometimes ended with lots of wine in me and I was a chattering wreck, about all the things wrong in my life…not so sexy after all….so now I fix a bitter lemonade drink, sigh and smile and get ready for a date night with hubby!
Wolfie is a Gigantic Anus, a Fucktard, just a Fucking Loser. I don’t like he tries to influence my friends. Lex we are with you and support you. He knows your pissed now! I wear my Fuck you Wolfie bracelet everyday. Sometimes I wish it said FU Wolfie on the outside so its a constant reminder I don’t want him in my life anymore. Wolfie hasn’t really talked to me yet and it kind of scares me. Today is my Day 29 and I admit I am a little scared he will show his face soon. I never made it this far. I know I can do it especially with all of you!
There are words for Wolfie I can’t even print on this site. Anus is too weak of a word, in my opinion. I know mom said, “Smart people can think of better words than profanity to describe their feelings.” Um, no. Not right now. I am now on Day 3. AGAIN. I am so p*ssed. I drove drunk into my boyfriend’s garage door last Thursday. I KNOW BETTER. THAT is how powerful Wolfie’s lies can be. Listening to him made me jeopardize a relationship that I am not sure I even have anymore, as well as going on a several-day bender where I probably could have gotten alcohol poisoning (I drank an obscene amount and drove drunk to get more. I called a friend who has had long-term sobriety (25+ years), fessed up, and she said, “I know you don’t like the idea of AA, but girl, what you’ve been doing is not working permanently. You have the ability to maintain sobriety for months and months – why not do this permanently and get off the f**king roller coaster? Would you PLEASE open your mind and give it a try? I will sponsor you if you are willing.” So, I gave it up. I would do an in-patient or IOP, but I’d lose my job and custody of my child if I did, and I can’t afford that on top of this. I admitted that I couldn’t do this alone. I admitted to commit to WHATEVER WILL WORK at this point and QUIT my bitching, bargaining, making excuses and just admit that I need to do the work. I have been to 4 meetings so far and am taking what I can from them. Ignoring what I perceive to be the religious aspect and focusing on what others are saying. What works for them. What happens if you listen to Wolfie. How life can be if you don’t. And meeting other women with my problem in my area where we can lean on each other. Not that internet support doesn’t help – it does. I’ve done the Women for Sobriety program with some success and some growth. But this is like a war. I don’t have many female friends, and it’s obvious that I need more – particularly ones who understand. A one woman army can’t fight Wolfie – at least without some in-person support until you get or already are strong enough to fight on your own. I am not strong enough to fight without help. That is why I am back here. That is why I am opening up to a program that I resisted before. F**k Wolfie. F**k him enormously.
Kick his ass, Bridget. we’ll be here cheering you on.
All is fair in love and Wolfie wars–do whatever you need to do to kick ass
you got this.. lets do it together….
I’m going to learn from other’s experiences when it comes to wolfie ( thanks Lex [ sorry we get to learn at your expense]). At 18 days I’m still painfully aware of how I’m going to feel if I drink and that keeps me sober, at least for now.
I am still learning from my expense.. This virtual Wolfie is no joke.. Still hes telling me.. ” well you already fucked it all up.. keep going!” Ah, no thanks.. xo
That wolf is indeed a gigantic anus. Not a virtual anus, or even a theoretical anus. He is an actual anus.
Kick his head in! Smash the door on him. Pound him like a small woodland creature under your boot. Wolfie has been talking to me again, and I let him. He’s been pretty loud lately, saying things that make me crack up now: being sober is so fucking boring, or, this one, which is a text I sent to my boyfriend: “I’m just over it, it’s not worth it and it’s not healthy.” Fuck you, Wolf!
sobriety isn’t healthy? that’s a good one …
I know, right?
there was a woman in the challenge who was newly pregnant, and wolfie told her that drinking would help her with her morning sickness…
Anus, yes! I’m thinking the booze is Wolfies porn, and I fed the addiction.. Thank you for the love and helpful thoughts… I’m taking Wolfie by the balls and throwing him to the curb…