sober is the new black

Carrie (day 249): “Been socialising three nights in a row and wearing my sobriety like it is the new black! I am in that place where it just rocks and I couldn’t care what anyone’s drinking. In truth, I think they all look rather sad and tired, puffy and bloated! It’s earned me a few envious stares and curious looks this week.”

When i first quit drinking, i didn’t want anyone to notice. I didn’t want any scrutiny or questions. I didn’t socialize very much at all in the first 6 weeks. I felt safer at home with my tea and my routines.

Turns out, hardly anybody gives a shit if you’re not drinking… Only a real boozer will give you a hard time, and usually because they’re worried about how it’ll impact THEM if you’re not drinking. When i was on day 19, i was confronted with that kind of guy. He said i wasn’t as much fun … i shrugged and didn’t really even provide an explanation.

Then slowly, bit by bit, on its own, without me really even thinking about it, I got braver and perhaps prouder of myself. By approximately 60 days sober, I was hosting a catered dinner and I was quite pissed that no one noticed that i wasn’t drinking. I wanted some attention. I brought my clearly non-alcoholic drink components right to the table and mixed myself a mocktail … and nobody said anything.

and super recently, like in the last 2 weeks, i hosted a dinner, was drinking mint tea, and by the end of the night 5 of the 10 guests were also drinking mint tea with me. Who ARE these people who can have two glasses of wine and then switch to tea? They chose tea over more wine? Who even KNEW these people existed 🙂

turns out hardly anybody cares if we’re not drinking. except the boozers. and maybe it’s because our abstaining holds up a mirror to their behaviour, and that’s uncomfortable. Doesn’t matter. We’re doing our thing. We can wear our sobriety proudly or quietly or silently or bravely. But it’s ours.

and the rest of them can take a long walk off a short pier…

Team 100 update: Thanks to a mention of my blog in Good Housekeeping Magazine and the Guardian newspaper in the UK (both this week!), we now have 356 people in the challenge. Welcome to Nancy (1), Brooke (2), Lucky, Cathy, Fulu, Craig, Koala Girl, & Suzie (4), Tina, Mary, Ellena, Pickleball, Miss Jane, & Suz (5), Koala Boy (6), Terrie (7), Norman (8), Disney, Ginger, & Nan (9), Moon (13) and Raquelle (16).