anonymous forgiveness

ok. the last time we did this together, it worked really well. so for one day only, i’m creating an Anonymous Forgiveness Space. why today? because i want to let myself off the hook for something, and i know that depending on how i phrase it, it’ll reach someone else too.

So here’s the deal.

1. Post a comment below.

2. For this to work you MUST leave your name and your email and your website address BLANK in the comments form (if you forget, i’ll go in and delete that info manually). all comments are to be anonymous.  one of the comments will be from me, you just won’t know which one.

3. I have no way of personally knowing who posts what. Promise.

4. In your comment, write two or three sentences (max.) about something that you would like to forgive yourself for, for something you did, or said, or thought, because of alcohol. When you write the comment, phrase it like this: “I forgive you for …” Then later, you can read it again and suck in the goodness, AND someone ELSE can read it and get the goodness too.  For example, i’ll make one up. Let’s say you waited to long to go the doctor because you were afraid to admit how much you  drank.  So then as your comment, you’d write: “I forgive you for waiting too long to go to the doctor. Drinking made you scared.” OR “I know you didn’t mean to … and I forgive you for …”

5. Then take a second and post an anonymous ‘reply’ to one of the other comments already posted, and say something lovely and kind.

PS. if your name/email automatically shows up when you start to enter a comment, you can manually delete them OR you can ‘log out’ of your blogging profile.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I was really, really drunk last year when I drove to the airport. Really drunk. If I had been pulled over, there’s no way they wouldn’t have taken me to jail, and I’d be ten states away from my family dealing with that mess. I could have killed someone, or myself.

  • I forgive you for the infidelities that Wolfie assured you were acceptable behavior. I forgive you for the blackouts and the upsetting of others’ lives in the name of your own drama addiction; just cuz your parents were drama addicts doesn’t mean you have to be as well. You are forgiven for fighting against what spouse knew to be in your best interests. Moving forward is the only way you can go… do it, create, be that artist you have always desired to be.

  • I forgive you for getting so drunk and hysterically weepy at your brother’s 40th birthday party – you have always been emotionally nervous, you struggle to really connect and make new friends, it can be tough to pretend to cope while your husband is always away working. You have been using alcohol as a crutch in social situations but you are ready to throw that crutch away and shine on your own! You can do it.

    • And you CAN do it! It always sounded like bull shit when people said living sober is better than booze. I’m here to tell you, they were right! Shine on, my friend!

  • I forgive you for being so addicted to the wine and for not handling the changes and losses in life. I forgive you for forgetting so much that your family told you at night and for being so consumed in your own woes. You were very hurt, anxious and didn’t know where to turn for comfort. Lesson learned, now move on and only look back when you need to be reminded of why you don’t drink anymore.

    • You have forgiven yourself for those days of addiction and you know that it is a disease and as such you seek the cure in this new life. Learning from what we have done is the way forward-you are on the right path. Stay the course. You know where comfort and learning how to cope can be found in the correct doses without the crutch of alcohol. Welcome to sober life-it holds its own so much better than you think.

  • i forgive you for betrayal after betrayal to the man you love, for the unnecessary anxiety you caused loved ones, i forgive you for drunken behavior that left wreckage and despair in your precious heart, i forgive you for hating yourself…you are love and loved

    • The truth that comes with sobriety includes fidelity and that is what you deserve and so are giving yourself and your loved ones. You are beautiful as you are loved and that past wreckage fertilizes the love and peace that is yours now.

  • I forgive you for the wasted time and opportunities: hikes and art museums and breakfast mornings with friends or alone in the redwoods… all from being too hungover to get out of bed. I forgive you for the years of binge drinking and hiding from a hangover every third day. I forgive you for all the injuries over the years, the bruises, the cuts, the twisted knees and ankles, the scrapes and losses. I love you and am excited to create a beautiful life for you (me). 🙂

    • Now you are free to GO, GO, GO and not miss a thing! You can go anytime, anywhere, hangover free! You are strong and in control now! Every day sober is a day of really loving yourself!

  • I forgive you for lying to your teenaged daughter about the dark bruises caused by being black out drunk while on a 3 day binge. You didn’t know that you had passed out naked hanging over the edge of the bathtub and your boyfriend bruised your arms while trying to pick you up.

    • Now you see another path and you are taking it. How wonderful that you found your way to a life where you won’t have to lie about time lost and things forgotten.

  • I would sometimes lie about the amount of alcohol I would consume – and have bought extra to cover that up, so it didn’t appear to be as much as it was. I have to let that go…the wolf was acting through me.

    • That wolf is a tricky one. Good for you for recognizing that you CAN let it go. Better days ahead.

  • I forgive you for getting a DUI while making wedding plans and leaving your mom in the hotel room while you went out with some guy and gave him a blow job after getting arrested. Really, while you were making wedding arrangements? I forgive you for drowning your truth in that bottle for so many years.

    • Isn’t it wonderful that you no longer have to lie to cover up the truth anymore? You are a different person now on a better path. Now you are drowning in the beauty that is the life that was meant for you.

  • I forgive you for lying to yourself about your drinking. I forgive you for being so careless with your health. I forgive you for hiding behind a bottle. I forgive you for endangering others. I forgive you for not thinking. I forgive you for wasting so many precious years.

    • And now you have many precious, way better years ahead! You can let the past go and be so proud of not needing a bottle to hide behind!

  • I forgive you for getting black out drunk while on a weekend getaway with your boyfriend and seeing your favorite band, leaving and walking back to the hotel room but not telling anyone and making everyone wonder if you were ok,and worrying the next day about whether something bad happened and you just don’t remember. I also forgive you for peeing the bed.

  • I forgive you for using wine to hide from your problems. You are learning that hiding lets the problems grow whereas dealing with them, however uncomfortable, offers the opportunity for resolution.

  • I forgive you for lying to yourself for so long about your alcohol abuse. You were too frightened to believe that you are worth the effort.

    • You are so brave to walk your truth and seeing the way now. The more you cast that light, the stronger your beam. You are standing tall now and are so worth the effort.

  • I forgive you for embarrassing yourself and your husband and for being a major part of the destruction of your marriage. I forgive you for using wine to numb the anxiety and as self-medication for other issues you are finally working through. I forgive you for passing out when trying to intimate with your husband. I forgive you for the pain you caused him and I forgive you for the pain you are now experiencing going through a divorce. I forgive you for your behavior in the past and I’m proud of you for the changes you’ve made moving forward. I forgive you for taking so long to finally get sober.

    • We are so hard on ourselves! The past is past, and the facts won’t change- but how your view them can. Pull up the loving softness you would use for an adorable small child. View your past though these lenses, acknowledging that all humans make mis-steps, and that you are now walking on your right path.

  • I forgive you for being so drunk that you lied about texts you inadvertently sent to the originator (rather than another friend), slamming them for “their” overreaction to your original (callous, drunken) comments. Then making up far-fetched lies to cover your error — which no one believed. #stilljumpywhensendingtexts

    • Oh smartphones and alcoholism, such a bad combination! Delete those messages and move forward. We’ve all done some very stupid things while drunk, we accept it, ask for forgiveness and use what we learn to make better choices in the future. You are choosing to be here…sharing with all these anonymous people! Be proud of your bravery and forgive yourself.

  • I forgive you for getting so shit faced that you really thought your boyfriend wanted you to sleep with his brother in front of him. You were desperately seeking unconditional love.

    • You are learning new ways to seek and give love and acceptance. Learn from the past, but do not dwell there. Beautiful things are ahead for you!

  • I forgive you for being more interested in drinking wine with friends than being concerned with the children’s welfare. And for the times when you didn’t behave like a married woman when you were desperately craving male attention.
    You are different now.

    • The real you…has a beautiful mother’s heart and a desire to care for your children. Most of the time, you are a wonderful mother and now, with the poision gone, you will continue to excel as a loving, caring mom.

  • I forgive you for getting so drunk that you behaved badly toward your precious daughter when she was only 8 years old. You were trying to numb the fire of your suppressed anger with alcohol and it burst into awful flames. Now, without the alcohol, you are able to clearly deal with struggles that may arise.

    • Nothing will stop you from being the best parent you can possibly be now that you have started taking care of you too.
      It’s in the past and your daughter can tell how precious she is to you now. Now is all that matters.

    • You are doing the most loving thing you can for your daughter by loving yourself enough to make changes. Feel the gratitude and pride looking back at you from her eyes.

  • For all the times you drank, were completely hungover, or secretly were drinking when the kids were around, I forgive you.. Your coping skills were completely screwed up, and in time you will learn better self care…

    • You are learning better self-care and striving to improve your coping skills. Be gentle to yourself. You are strong enough to make a positive change.

      • You can be very proud of the changes you are making, you know in your heart you are doing the right thing for you…stay strong but be gentle with your new self.

  • I forgive you for drinking wine in the morning before work. It was just sitting on the counter and you don’t know why you did it! You beat yourself up enough about it – now it’s time to let it go and move on.

    • We do tend to be harder on ourselves than most “normal” people. You’ve served your penance and you’re in a much better mental state now.

  • Bad things started to happen. I was date raped and couldn’t fight him off due to my drunken state. Another occassion, I suffered numerous injuries and I believe I should’ve died that night.

    • But you didn’t ask for any if this and deserve a beautiful life.. No one asks to be treated this way… You now have the chance to treat yourself like you deserve.. Sober…

  • Drinking “together” at night both made you stupider and braver, and in the end, all you were left with was the bottle. I forgive you for having an emotional, web-based affair with your engaged best friend.

    • Losing good judgment is so easy with bottle in hand. Attention feels so good but sober attention feels SO much better. You’ll love it and you will be so much more fulfilled!

  • I forgive you for sleeping through Christmas morning. You were going through a hard time and now the hard time is over.