100 days x 4

Happy day 101 to Ingrid!

Happy day 101 to Sarita!

Happy day 100 to C How!

Happy day 100 to KC šŸ™‚

Holy exciting days, batman.

Here’s what C How has to say about 100 days sober…

Lessons learned 100 days:

I have not missed driving to work hung over and wondering how I am possibly going to make it through the day: I have learned it’s nice to be sober to drive to the store if i want ice cream at 10:00 at night

I have not missed having a police car behind me at 8:00 am and wondering if I could still get a DUI from the night before; I have learned I still wonder if he caught me speeding šŸ™‚

I have not seen any pink clouds, or rainbows or unicorns ā€“ I have seen a bit more of “me.”

I have not miraculously felt that my life is perfect; I have been able to more appreciate so much good “stuff” that I do have.

I have not moved past missing parts of my drinking lifestyle/friends; I have learned I can enjoy doing things sober, most of the time.

I have not moved past my negative and “what if” thinking that sometimes makes me want to drink; I have learned I’m capable of working on that without drinking.

I have not miraculously lost all my insomnia; I have learned it feels better to be awake at 3 am sober than hungover/still drunk/dying of thirst ā€“ and that there is always some good “sober stuff” to read (or write ā€“ like writing about all the differences between day 5 and day 100 sober).

I have not missed spending beautiful days inside on the couch because I’m too hungover to get motivated; I have seen, or at least appreciated, more sunrises in the last 100 days than i saw in the 9,125 days or more before that (wow ā€“ if you only appreciate 10 or so sunrises a year for 25 years that’s 8,875 potential sunrises missed! ā€“ note negative thinking/what ifs)

I have not missed arguing over stupid things with other drunks at 2:00 am; I have learned I kind of enjoy telling drunks it’s time to go home when they start arguing with other drunks about stupid things at 11 pm šŸ™‚

I have not suddenly become someone who can easily ask for help; I have learned if I make myself do it anyway that there are amazing people and resources available.

I have not suddenly become Ms. Domesticated/organized/Suzy Homemaker; I have discovered it’s much less frustrating thinking “where did I put that book/where is my other shoe in this mess of a closet/why didn’t i charge my phone last night/don’t I even own a paring knife?” when you are sober.

I have not stopped thinking that I need to make some more changes to be healthier; I have started to look forward to my next doctor’s appt. (did I really just type that?) because I know I’m going to have improved test results based on the changes I have made.

I have not stopped sometimes thinking that an ice cold beer sounds really good; I have learned I don’t need to act on that thought and I can read/exercise/leave/walk/write/email/go to bed instead.

I have not been able to forget how absolutely, positively, 200% “holy crap this sucks, I’m so exhausted and depressed and miserable” I was those first few weeks (over two months ?); I have decided that’s not something I SHOULD forget.

I have not suddenly become “cured” of depression (OK, that one is hard to think of putting “out there”); I have learned I can accept help for it, and admit to it, and try to work through it instead of going around it.

I have not found that everyone I know (even those I’m closest to) “get” what I’m doing with being sober, or why; I have starting/been trying/getting better at realizing 1) this is for me and whether they “get it” or not really doesn’t matter 2) it takes awhile for everyone else to get used to big changes too.I have not had some revelation that sober life is fantastic, great, the best thing since sliced bread and all day thoughts of “why didn’t I do this earlier?”; I have learned it can be good and I may as well see if it gets better,ā€“ just what is going to happen next?

I have signed up for Team 180 (Team 100 + 80 days)

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • C How …
    Excellent, excellent writing. Congratulations on your 100 + 1 days. Keep doing what you’re doing and your life will shake away some of those “have nots” over time … if you choose.

    Belle:
    Another great update and post.Congrats to all the people living life unaltered.

    Lisa

    • Thanks Kristi–as SBT’s i think we should keep in touch every once in awhile—give Belle the ok to share your e-mail with me if you want. Go team 180!

      • C, yes, we SBTs should absolutely connect now and then! I will give Belle the OK and you should feel free to ask her to share my email too. Happy Day 103!

  • Congrats Ingrid, Sirita and KC. Thanks for letting me hijack your blog for the day Belle–not that I asked or expected it–ahem. šŸ™‚

  • Hugs and congrats to everyone! C, what an excellent summary (and reminder) of what we’re doing this for! God, I remember those mornings drinking ON the train to work, those days wondering if my boss could smell the wine on my breath…dark days. I don’t miss and never will miss being hung over. No more!

    What happens next is exactly what Katherine wrote: more sunrises, and more moving forward (with all the ups and downs). Less thinking about drinking, more thinking about doing and being and getting THROUGH it, like C said, instead of around it. It’s not easy, and my Unicorn Parade has officially parked itself on the side of the road, but…there’s still a little rumbling–potential unicorn parade energy, which is exciting! šŸ™‚

  • Congrats to everyone on 100 days! C How, awesome writing! I can also relate to everything you said. I am still feeling good (14 months sober) that I can go out to pick up ice cream at 10pm cause I’m sober. I just did it Friday night for hubby’s bday! I am also seeing more of the real ME and not seeing pink clouds, rainbows and unicorns. I remember driving to work so hungover and feeling like absolute shit and wondering how I was going to do my job and would anyone smell it on me or notice and say something. Alcohol made life so much more difficult, even all the hours I wasn’t drinking! Now I also wake up first in my house and see the sun come up and enjoy the first cup of coffee. I don’t miss waking up feeling like shit and wondering what I need to regret! Honestly, what will happen next is….more sunrises, taking the best care of yourself, and looking forward to the ‘future’ rather than dwelling in the past. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I made it this far without a glass (bottle) of wine. šŸ™‚ Happy 100 sober days to you!