Dear 11 hrs of sleep: thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I feel like a human again. When I looked in my fridge just now, and saw all the leftovers, I now see them as possibilities (quiche? casserole?) … whereas last night, all i could see was a list of irritations (why is there 2 tablespoons of pesto left, how am i going to use up 3 mushrooms).
Sleep. Well, yes, it does fix all of life’s problems, sort of! It’s my escape, it’s the way i can ‘turn off’, it’s the way I can get a break from myself. Yes, it’s my new booze. Sleep. Keeps me out of danger, restores, renews, and most of all – gives me a break from reality. A break from the noise in my head. It’s like pressing the reset button. Or the ‘clear’ button on a calculator that is full of random numbers. Press clear. Start again tomorrow.
Tiffany (day 60): “Sleep is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? I am sleeping like the dead – no wine 4 a.m. wake ups, no going to the bathroom a thousand times, no night sweats. I love it!”
Susan (day 34): “I am writing twice today. Tonight such a strong pull to drink because I would like a break from my brain … it is on and won’t stop. And so I have busied myself with cooking, errands, playing with the dogs … the pull is still there, strong. But different than before, because NOW I DON’ T DRINK. So eventually this will pass or I will go to sleep and wake and as Scarlett O Hara said in Gone With The Wind: Tomorrow is another day!”
Hana (day 16): ” What’s better? Skin, sleep, weight, eating habits, bank account, self reliance, memory, accountability, truth, mornings, hydration, hair, self confidence, humor, and last but certainly not least – not having to question what the hell happened to all my beer and wine, then realize oh right, that was me, then swear it was the last time, and then repeat it again. THANK GAWD that’s done!!”
Read Blog Posts in Order:
I’ve put together a collection of my blog posts, in chronological order, so you can see where i was on day 18 and see if it’s like where you are! You can order the collected PDF here. Easier to read it in a PDF than reading it online 🙂
Funny, I started writing you a big thing the other day about how much I agree about SLEEP being one of the best bits of sobriety – this has been HUGE for me too; GONE are the sleeping pills, insomnia, crappy sleep – but got distracted by work and didn’t finish it. To come… Been meaning to send you my thoughts about the class actually but been swamped and now am sick. But I really wish I could have heard it in my first week. Lovely stuff Belle. Xxxxx
You are so right…sleep is a good thing – I think an almost magical thing. Because, when all else fails and I wan to drink, I can always crawl into bed, and tomorrow is always waiting with a new day!!