R: “Is it wrong to think ‘I can’t seem to get more than 3 days in a row, yet I’ve had more sober days in the past 6 months than I have had in 6 years’?”
The only thing I’ll say about percentage of sober days, is that individual sober days are HARD and we’re just *waiting* to drink again. part of how you get wolfie to shut the fuck up is to say “no not today, not tomorrow, see you again in 100 days.” Then he backs off and leaves you alone.
I certainly found that “drink one day, be sober one day” was just too hard. I tried it. It took too much energy. It made me feel bad on the days I was drinking AND white knuckling tense feeling bad on the days I was not drinking. Frankly, being sober for a longer period of time is just plain easier. OK, we can argue that it sucks temporarily for the first few days, but that’s only for a VERY short period of time. Then it gets easier. Wolfie acts up, you ignore him, and then he comes around less and less…
And I wrote this to MG, who also mentioned the idea of making ‘progress’ with her drinking:
Every time you drink, you wake up wolfie, and have to – to some extent – start again. OK, we can argue that it’s not all the way back to square 1 starting again, but it’s probably at least 50% starting over. Wolfie is awake, and he has learned that if he tortures you, you will give in. You have to shut the fucker up. Dehydrate the wolf.
imagine a 3 year old throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. if you give that child candy … well, good luck ever going for groceries again without having candy on hand. sure it can be done, but it’s waaay harder than avoiding the situation entirely)
no more candy for the screaming child in the grocery store. Anyway, that’s the goal with the 100 challenge. just to see what 100 days continuous feels like. THEN you can make decisions going forward from there.
Fuck you wolfie.
sober inspired art, thanks to mr.belle
this is painting #527. Stay here. you’re sober now. stay here.