One of my sober penpals says she likes that i am just “out there somewhere in Europe” … anonymous, living in the clouds, as if i have no fixed address, or that i live IN her email.
This made me wonder if there is perhaps a benefit in remaining anonymous, with only vague or general details that outline who we are.
I’m not protecting my anonymity anymore just because of my work (though that’s part of it). it’s also because I think that it doesn’t matter “WHO” we are. The specific aspects that make us different can be distracting and distancing. “Oh she has kids, doesn’t have kids, her kids are grown … so she wouldn’t understand.” Or “her problems are worse/better than my problems so I don’t belong here.”
I believe, now, that I would like to remain anonymous, because i want to focus on what is the the SAME about the sober world — the things we all have in common (of which there is a metric ton) — despite the specifics on the amounts of alcohol consumed, despite the depths or lengths of the bottoms, despite where we live, or what we do for work.
cuz there is so much ‘the same’ about us. We have/had skewed reward systems. We drank more than we wanted to. We had some degree of compulsive thoughts about booze. OK, maybe my compulsive thoughts could be ignored and/or replaced with other more healthy alternatives, with a dash of teeth gnashing, and a smattering of going to bed early thrown in for good measure. And maybe other people’s compulsive thoughts need medication or rehab or both to cope. But at the root, I think it’s all the same thing, just differing shades.
We have more in common that we realize. and I feel, today, right this minute, that where I live isn’t relevant. It’s an interesting detail. But it doesn’t contribute to the discussion. OK, maybe i’m being a bit weirdly black and white here, but i kind of like the idea that we all just live in the internet clouds, and we drop in on each other like angels. Faceless angels.
Maybe I’m rationalizing, maybe deep down I’m terrified of being discovered. maybe i’m denying, or sounding egotistic. and maybe I’m full of shit. don’t know. this is what I think today (or at least, it’s what I emailed to Ellen last night).
What do YOU think?
Team 100 update: 59 members. Welcome to new members: Erin (13), B (4), Tammy (35). Celebrations for MG (28), KC (14), Malia (14), Walk Sober (14), Sunny Sue (60), & Christina (28).