Here are a few new quotes from the ‘mystery’ addictions book I’m reading. What do you think?
(1) We addicts are used to immediate gratification. It’s difficult to tolerate the feeling of craving for a second because we know there’s a solution. All we need is the drug, the drink, the cigarette, the card game, her or him, or whatever it is that makes us think we’re okay. The disease lives in the mind.
[Belle: I want to feel better NOW, dammit!]
(2) Addicts need to understand that sitting with a craving for five minutes diminishes its hold over their thoughts, and that the longer they sit with it the more it diminishes. They aren’t fighting the craving, but waiting for it to pass, as it surely will. Once you know it’s the cravings that make you do what you don’t want to do, you can no longer be a victim.
[Belle: I call these cravings my ‘wolf’ voice …]
(3) How do you know for certain if you need treatment for an addiction? The odds are you won’t know on your own. Up to 90 percent of people who need treatment don’t recognize that they need treatment, according to research data … “There is a good reason for this state of denial … the area of the brain that allows you to be aware of your own internal state is disrupted by drugs [or alcohol].” This disruption may also create layers of stubborn denial if you have a … habit that has become a serious problem.
[Belle: for those of us online, looking for solutions and looking for help, we might be in the 10% who know we need to do something. And while this book doesn’t specifically say this, i bet that willingly being part of the 10% who recognize they need help makes it more likely that we’ll be successful. Maybe I’ll email the author and ask!]
What do you think?
Your blog is a great resource, Belle, and I am really glad to read it. I don’t read many since i have been sober for so long that my sobriety is not really a problem to me but I do like your blog and the people who read it and comment. You have a great way of expressing yourself and there are lots of people reading it looks like. Great job.
Hear hear what Lynda said. xxxx
If you haven’t read “Sober For Good” by Anne Fletcher, you really need to.
Here is a review of her new book on rehab.
http://www.salon.com/2013/02/03/inside_rehab_how_it_could_work_better_and_why_it_doesnt/
I have to wonder about that 10% thing… if you think about cigarettes, it seems like 100% of the smokers I know realize that they ought to quit, but they can’t/don’t. Now, if the question is how many people will humble themselves enough to seek outside help with their addiction (via AA meetings, rehab, counselor) that might be closer to 10%. I have a suspicion that there are tons of people like I was a couple of years ago–suffering but too ashamed to tell anyone else. That’s where blogs like this and other on-line sobriety resources come in handy.
I go to AA now and like it, but I wasn’t bad enough (yet) with my drinking to have gone when I was still drinking. I kept things so secretive, so under pseudo-contro. The shame was just too great to have sat down in a room full of strangers and talked about my secret. Yet, I was miserable–almost suicidally so… Thank goodness that I found some help online.
I check several sober-blogs now and then–rarely comment. But I really want you to know that I appreciate what you’re doing. You’re doing this to help keep yourself sober–but I hope you know that you’re probably helping a few other people get/stay sober as well. (Not to put any pressure on you hahaha) Keep up the good work!
i appreciate this, Lulu, thanks so much for your comment. I like how you’ve refined what the 90/10 divided likely is… who really gets help versus everyone who knows they should… I really do think i’ll email the author to see if i can get some clarification : )
and thanks also for your lovely supportiveness. i do the blog thing and the sober penpal thing … and they both might in a small way *help* others, but i can honestly say that in being a tiny piece of support to lurkers who are “like me”, it means that i’m MORE likely to STAY sober: for me. and for them. it’s the best kind of selfishness, i think. If it looks like i’m give advice to someone else, what i’m really doing is giving advice to myself …
~ hugs from me