I’m curious 6

I’m about to take off for a 24-hour mini vacation later today, but look … it’s February!  It’s time to update my lovely Curious post.  Some newly sober people have gotten their start right here.  You can too.  Or you can just watch and see what happens. There is a lot of support in the sober blogging world. You’ll see 🙂

What’s the reason for this post?

i lurked on a few sober blogs before I quit drinking July 1st.  So here’s what i’m curious about.

  1. Post a comment with your number of days sober (or your sober anniversary date if you’re not a day-counter).
  2. If you are an anonymous lurker, and you’re sober, you can just put Sober as your name, and then use a fake email as your email address (12345@12345.com) – tell me how many days sober. You can remain anonymous of course.
  3. If you are a lurker, and you aren’t (yet) sober but you’re looking for inspiration, you can put Hoping as your name (or whatever), and then enter the email address (12345@12345.com). And you can pick a date when you’d like to start your sober journey (i.e. in 5 days, or February 15th, or whatever). You can remain anonymous, too.

I also sometimes forget how far along in the sober journey some of you are … so this will help me remember and help me celebrate with you.

Really, if you’re an anonymous lurker that’s totally fine! Just chime in with where you are : )

PS/ HERE’S MY GUT REFLEX: I have no proof of this and am only going on a gut feeling here, but if you are a lurker and still drinking, then by posting something anonymously, it’s like raising your hand and saying “ok, yes, i could use some support” and i think that makes a big difference in what happens next for you.  Well, if you don’t believe me, you can try posting something and see what happens : )

Belle xo


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Day 8! Everyday is different. So proud of myself yesterday for getting through a party. It definitely wasn’t the most fun time, and I could of helped thinking constantly of the fun potential had I been smashed, like everyone else, but I removed myself and tried to have fun anyway. Was hard trying to explain why I wasn’t drinking. Today feeling a bit down, but still optimistic I can do this. Although 92 days seems like a lifetime, hope my penpal comes through soon. Getting so much from blogs like this. So thanks everyone..

  • Hello everyone, I’m on day 11. It seems like longer than that, but I suppose if you add up a bunch of starts and stops it seems longer. But I feel great – and more importantly, I am doing different things in the evening that change my attitude toward numbing out….it’s a great feeling being present!!!

    • Thanks for this Whineless : ) Day 11 is awesome, double digits! i couldn’t string together more than 7-9 days when i started … so you’re already ‘around the corner’ … hope you’ll check in every so often and let us know how you’re doing.

  • Hi, I’m one of your lurkers. Thanks for asking for this. I’ll have 1 year and 8 months on 2/15/13. I did get 13 years at one point, but I convinced myself that I had it all figured out. Guess what? I didn’t!! But STUPID to think that going without for 13 years would result in my alcoholism disappearing. Ha-ha. Progressive disease.

  • I celebrated 6 months booze free last Friday and today is day 189 🙂

    Hope you had a lovely time away. Well done on your 7+ months!

    It’s wonderful to see so many newbies just starting out. Very inspirational stuff.

  • Hi Belle,
    I can hardly believe it myself but I have been sober 15 days. I haven’t gone this long without drinking in many, many years so to say that I’m excited about it is an understatement. Although living my life sober has been extremely difficult. Congratulations on 317 days! That is big!
    Take care,

  • Day 8 for me, but most importantly for the type of drinking I’ve been…one full weekend. One down and looking forward to many more.

  • @ Abbie . You’ve said it all. Thank you ! In the beginning of my sobriety it didn’t seem possible. 11 + months tells me it is possible. Taking it one day at a time here and its working.

  • Is 90 days still 90 days if I drank 2 days in December? *L* I know the answer. I ‘would of’ had 90 days today but in reality I now have 39 days. That’s not too shabby. I feel great not drinking. I LOVE not having hangovers. During the two days that I did drink it became clear that I can’t moderate. Fuck I dont even WANT to moderate. If I’m gonna drink I want a numbing drunk. If I have a numbing drunk I am regretful, sick, and self loathing after the buzz subsides. Stone cold sober & all the stress & anxiety & raw life that comes with it is much better. Thanks for you & all the other great bloggers out there. You are all helping me stay sober by sharing your journey.

    • i never much cared for moderating either, i mean, it’s no fun, and who wants to stop! it was literally impossible for me to stop once i got going, so i know for sure that it’s easier to not have a drink at all. it’s obviously easier, cuz i’m doing it. and that moderation thing? i did it never, or badly, or i lied about it … this is much much better, oui?

  • I am reminded of an old Disney movie, seems like Dick van Dyke was in it, and there was a song about putting “one foot in front of the other”…and soon you’ll be walking. Beginning such a drastic life change really IS like learning to walk: lots of stumbling and falling down unless you hold TIGHT to someone (or many someones) hand. Thank God there are many many of us willing to hold baby’s hands. 🙂 Thanksgiving of 1992 is my sobriety date. (Tricky, as it’s never the same date. ) I relied a lot on online recovering friends for the first year or so, as I had a “special needs” baby & couldn’t get out much. I’ve gotta tell you, it IS the best decision I’ve ever made, and no matter how bad it may get along the road, there’s NOTHING that’s gonna happen that a drink or a drug won’t make WORSE. I’ve been to enough meeting to hear how it is for those who go out & make it back in. They never say it got better.

    • abbie, this is sooo great! thanks for being here and for lending your support and your encouragement. worrying about not being able to ‘make it back in’ is what keeps me going … and that’s good enough for me!

  • 112 days for me! The first 60 or so were horrendously difficult, but I’m feeling good these days (well, most days).

    • hey there, glad you’re feeling better than you were. i think the first 60 days were harder for me because i couldn’t really convince myself to ‘stay quit’… once i gave up fighting it, it got easier for me…

    • Hi, I’m Peggy and I’m an alcoholic.

      Feb 27 2012 I put down the drink. I was either going to end up dead or in jail.
      Honestly I wanted to be die. I ddin’t think it was possible to stop…..
      Now I am grateful everyday for my sobriety and life.
      Life is so much easier being sober!
      Thanks for sharing your blog Belle.

      • Yikes!! Sorry M I realized today I put my comment in the WRONG place. You mentioned you are looking for inspiration and Yikes again and I put my story.

        I will say being sober is good. It keeps getting better everyday. Try to take it one day at a time. Not all days are great , the next day or day after things will turn around. Don’t stay stuck in your head, reach out. Trust me it helps.
        Welcome to the sober train. I’m rooting for you.


  • I’m hoping to begin living and stop drinking. I’m going to try and start on 2/13/2013 after a trip with friends. I cant think of telling them my plans yet. I’ve tried before and they were like ‘what? no drink?’ I know I need to get over that and just say ‘no, just a soda for me’. I have been avoiding happy hours and some of my ‘drinking buddies’ for probably a year. Feel kinda lonely sometimes but, I realize I’ll make new friends that wont care if I drink or not. Thank you blogging world for all the inspiration.

    • Wishing you a sober start on your quit day.
      Choosing to be sober is choosing to be selfish in a GOOD WAY. That is the way I see it. Life gets better one day at a time. Im at 11 months sober and ain’t gonna lie I am still lonely sometimes. But good things are happening everyday. Being sober allows me to be present. And the demons no longer lurk in my head. Yay.

    • Dear Hoping, you certainly don’t have to tell anybody anything in the beginning. In fact, you can stay home and drink tonic and tea and go to bed early. I think i did that for at least a month! (well, nearly!) In the very very beginning, you may have to ‘hide’ at home, but that’s not such a big deal. Cuz it might feel lonely, but it’ll feel sober and you’ll feel proud of yourself. and honestly that pride will begin to fill you up in ways that’s hard to explain … Email me once you begin, if you want. Would love to hear how it’s going for you.

    • Hoping: You never have to be alone in recovery. Check out a few AA or NA meetings and you will find a lot of other folks who’ve been there & done that. For real. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  • I laid it down for the final time on Feb 26, 1984 and to this day KNOW beyond any doubt that it was and still is the best decision of my life.

    • Hooray for you Lynda! Hooray for you! i rank quitting drinking with one of my top three biggest accomplishments, but i’m sure as time goes on, and i’m sober longer, it’ll creep up into my #2 and then my #1 spot … thanks for showing that it’s possible!

  • Hi Belle,

    Congratulations on 7 months, that’s fantastic! I’m 35 days, feeling pretty good but terrified of getting “smug” and having a relapse. I’m realizing this is going to be a lifelong process, but I’m ready for it. Thanks for your wonderful blog, it’s an inspiration.

    • well, there’s SMUG and then there’s SMUG : ) I believe it’s totally necessary to pat yourself on the back, and to (often) say “fuck i’m amazing.” That’s perhaps not the same as saying “i think i’ll drink today and give all this goodness up …” Would be happy to hear from you as you go along : )

  • Hey i really like reading your blog. It has helped me with my thoughts of drinking. I like your thing about the sober car but i like to have mine join up hill. Im 34 days sober and life is great and clear. I never thought i could have fun without drinking. thanks. christian

    • Christian, you can join in your sober car at any point on the hill you like! if you’re already at 34 days, then your sober car is rolling downhill and you’re getting used to things, and you’re developing new muscles, and your car is beginning to gain momentum. Thanks for being here : )

  • So I made it through my 30 day challange and had a gathering at my house last night.I had three glasses of wine,with food over a 4 hr period and i feel like crap today …..I don’t think I’m an alchoholic but I’m thinking I may just choose to not drink ….does that make sense?It messes with my sleep and I always overeat when I drink…..I love the feeling of energy I had when I wasn’t drinking….

    • 33 days. Came very close last night. I think if there was alcohol in the house, I would have. Woke up today VERY glad I didn’t. Went for an early cycle and felt great. I remember someone’s blog saying something about ‘you never wake up and regret that you didn’t drink’. Have a great break Belle. Well done.

      • Thanks Suzanne, some days i come close, too, but i don’t drink. some days i might feel like it, but i don’t. And really, that’s all we can do. The craving days get further and further apart, and they get easier to deal with. You’re doing the magical thing right now, perhaps without even realizing it. and you’re focused on how you feel BETTER when you don’t drink! i think you’re doing great : )

    • Melissa, you sound just like me … i don’t think i’m an alcoholic either, but i’m not really focused too much on what my label is, cuz what i do know is that i feel better when I don’t drink – and that quitting takes work – but that staying quit is what’s best for me. Sounds like you’re in the same boat! welcome to the sober boat!

  • I have been sober for 177 days…on Tuesday it will be 6 months!!!! woo hoo! Half a year already! Amazing and feels great!

    Belle you are right about this sober blogging world being supportive! I have found such strength, bravery, love and humor reading your blog and others! So grateful! Happy 7 months! Enjoy your retreat reward! xo

  • Good morning. Love your blog! I am 29 days sober and yes I am a day counter. Tomorrow will be my first 30 days without alcohol in ??????? years!!!!!


  • I would have never thought I’d say this back when I first found you, but…hold up. I have to count the days cause I don’t remember.

    Ok! I’m 58 days. (Is that all? Not even two months? Getting sober makes life last a nice long time.) My quit date is December 7, 2012.

    Unlemming-lemon bars? *swoons*

    If you are a “lurker” and wanting to get sober keep reading. And write! And keep writing. People write back. It’s the most amazing thing. People who have never met you care about you. The world is so damn cool sometimes.

  • I’ll begin. I am 217 days. My quit date is July 1st, so i just celebrated 7 months yesterday. my reward was a day off, three home cooked meals, and two lemon bars! Today i’m going out of town for a mini-vacation. I will read and sleep and eat and run. and watch bad TV. sounds like the perfect reward to me!