new sober blogger you should check out … Doc Drying Out. I was making a comment over there and thought i could put it here, too:
There should be a new category [when defining alcoholism]:
“Do you regularly drink more than you want to,
do you think about drinking more than most people,
and have you thought about quitting but can’t quite seem to do it.”
If that was a box, I’d check it : ).
I got soooo hung up on the definition of alcoholic when i was first quitting (and even beforehand). Am I or aren’t I. Should I be in AA or not. I felt that there just weren’t enough boxes to check (on all those checklists) for those of us who are high-bottom boozers.
How about just this: “life is better without booze, give it a try. oh, you find it hard to try quitting even just for a while? then you will enjoy a life without booze even MORE than you think!”
And in follow-up to yesterday’s stupid/overwhelmed post, husband has a dentist appointment tomorrow (may they extract his attitude while in the dentist’s chair). And right after I posted about scaling back, I cancelled one of the things I do for Job #2. There weren’t many people using the service, but i was clenched against one or two emails saying “oh, i’m so sad you won’t be doing this any more, i love this …”
what did i get?
crickets. not one single email saying anything. Clearly i need to cut out more stuff, cuz what I think the universe needs is not what it needs right now! what a relief. i’m not in charge of the universe : )
YES! Just YES, to this post. I mean, after everything I’ve done while blacked out (and, isn’t blacking out a box unto itself?), I was still like, But wait, wait wait wait a minute…
I am starting to see “alcoholism” like sexuality–it’s on scale and that scale is occupied by people of every stripe and persuasion. And, if “normal” people could withstand the hangovers and liked being out of control and stupid, wouldn’t they, too have the propensity to become “alcoholics?”
After all my thinking about it, and going to meetings and identifying AND feeling out of place at them, I finally decided (with YOUR helpful posts, Belle): I am an “alcoholic” if I say I am! No one else’s definition matters. AND, it was really helpful for me to start to tease out the big perceptual (how it affects the way I approach my recovery) difference between “drinking alcoholically” from “being an alcoholic.”
thanks for this, i’ve missed your pithy genius ’round here!
😉 You, too!
Thanks for the blog recommendation, I love that you have such a great handle on the sober-sphere. And I love that you offer so much of yourself through personal emails with people starting out. You’ve a huge heart Belle and that comes through with your warmth and generosity. But having said that, I also love your biting humour and your fierce attitude to decision making. It’s very inspiring. xxxx
I must have googled ‘definition of an alcoholic’, ‘am i an alcoholic’, taken questionnaires, etc etc etc over and over and over again. Totally agree with a new box category… maybe it could include ‘well educated, full time executive, single mother of three who never wanted to stop with one chardonnay after getting home from a very busy day and REALLY enjoys french champagne’. Bottom line though… if we are googling all that in the first place… something is not quite as it should be! Duhhh… (hear the penny drop). Day 24. Yayayayay.
hooray congrats on day 24! I think you’re right, we could create a new box to check: “Have you ever (even once) done an online survey about how much you drink? Yes? Then you drink too much for you, and you know it. Whatever your ‘too much’ is, let’s face it now.
Of course you’re not in charge of the universe because I am!!!!
Love this! I am on day 23 and feel great being alcohol free. Now, if I can just stop the fuzziness, I think I will be ok.