no matter what you think, when you’re quitting drinking, day one is best day.
it’s the day your sober car starts to roll downhill. it’s the day you’ll get to remember, and look back on, and it’s the day you’ll count from. it’s your day one. the first day. It is the beginning of a parade of days that will go by, each one with its own challenges.
Can you see us? we’re standing on the sidelines in the parade, with tiny flags in hand, waving. There are balloons. There’s music. There’s homemade lemonade.
OK, yes it’s hard to be in a parade at first. you feel like everyone is looking at you. it’s exhausting. It’s a full time job being newly sober.
and then as the parade goes on, the hours and the days add up. each day means something. each day represents an accomplishment, a day you said no thanks, i’ll stick with tea/bubbly water. No thanks, i want to do what’s best for me.
No thanks, while your offer is tempting, i’m going to skip numbness and choose living instead.
And no matter what you think, when you quit drinking, every day is the best day. Today is day #203 for me. It’s the best day. I have this great number of days behind me AND i have today to look forward to. It’s strangely snowy in this part of Europe and it’s a perfect day for a run and then breakfast and a reward magazine. I’ve been waiting all week to read my reward magazine. And now today is here. Today is the best day.
Look for me on my HUGE 100 day float today! It is a great day and a parade is a perfect way to celebrate! Every single day is a good day, even the days that have challenged my every resolve to do this sober thing and a 100-day challenge because I learn from it. I am forever thankful for the “shit Belle says” that keeps this grand parade going! Can’t stop now…I’ve got a parade float to maintain!
Today is 9 months and 1 day for me and it was a tough, crappy day at work. A co-worker said harsh uncalled for words to me. I felt teary and then anger. On the drive home I thought about stopping for a BIG bottle of wine to make it all go away…but I said out loud to myself ‘I don’t want to drink while angry and I won’t let her put me back at day 1″. So I stopped to buy myself flowers to plant! Still learning how to cope even 9 months later!
me too, still have to cope some days. thankfully it’s easier to cope now. but the idea to drink still comes up. But you know how I feel about giant anuses (irritating co-worker)… Flowers sounds like a super gift : ) hugs to you.
Thanks Belle! I guess what we go thru sober is called ‘delayed feelings’. It’s what addicts feel when sober. Have you heard of that? Like when the giant anus co-worker of mine scolded me, I wasn’t sure how to react. So I waited to respond and wondered if it was me ‘over reacting’ to conflict or if she really was ‘harsh’ to me. My therapist said it’s ‘normal’ and she was harsh. Today I have to face her and tell her that she can’t talk to me that way EVER again. I have to set boundaries. If I had a hang over I’d never be able to do that. Wish me luck! p.s. I planted the flowers in my window boxes last night, instead of drinking….best choice ever! Thanks for the hugs!
I haven’t heard of ‘delayed feelings’ but it makes sense. in some ways our guidance system is off from so many years of drinking. it probably takes a while to figure out what we ‘feel’ about things … planting flowers, success! anus = flowers. good lesson!
“no thanks, I am going to skip numbness and choose living instead”
😉
I LOVE that!!
This post is beautiful, and so true.
I’m on Day 2976 – and some of those days (especially at first) have been hard, long, dirty and depressing days. But some of them have been amazing. And some have just been ‘normal’, average days.
I think I like the normal days the best, because it means that NOT waking up with a raging hangover is normal; NOT lying to everyone about my consumption is normal; NOT obsessing about how and when and where is normal. Normal feels damn good, actually.
Michelle
Cheers to you with H20! You are my rock and always will be! Day 203!!! Amazing!,
Day 6 rocks! Almost 1 week without my dark passenger! He’s sleeping in the back seat and I’m going try to make sure he sleeps for a long time!
Today is the best day! Wow! What a lovely concept. Every new day represents something new. It has a way of creating exciting expectations for each new day. Thanks for sharing!
Lovely. Flag waving our way through sobriety xxxx
Enjoy your run. Sounds like a lot of fun. I love SNOW! I used to live in the Midwest and there was always tons of snow there. Since I have lived on the west coast for 12 years I rarely ever see snow here. Just the sight of a snow flake gets me excited. Jenna
Congratulations on all your sober days! Great post today! I loved the descriptions. Take care, Jenna
I’m on day 70 and I’m so back and forth it’s wild… I really haven’t had a hard time not drinking at all which leads me to thinking this sober thing isn’t really necessary for me. (Sound like anyone? Everyone?) your posts remind me how good I feel sober though and for that I thank you.
:-). Love this post.
Day 19!Love your post .Had an awesome lunch with a sober friend yesterday who I used to drink with.She looked so beautiful and was so positive and alive compared to how she used to be.Last time we had lunch before she stopped drinking it was a two wine bottle lunch and she admitted she then went home and drank a couple of more.That isn’t the case for me but she was inspirational by the change in her and I felt like I really listened to her for the first time….love your blog..
Thanks for this Melissa… i also think i learned to listen once I stopped drinking… it’s really quite an amazing gift we give people – the gift of being present!
Love the analogy! I’m still here, waving my flag and waking up with a clear head at day 64 … and I’ve discovered that there are a surprising number of pretty cool people marching in this parade.
Great post, today is #296 for me, I celebrate alone everyday when I write down me SoberDay no at the top of my journal page every night, Wednesday will be no 300 & I’ll be with new friends, a great way to celebrate.
Good luck on your journey, maybe we’ll meet in the parade someday.
Wayne