i’m curious 3

First, my brief update: i am well, just very very very busy with job #3 passion thingy, it’s literally taking over my life in a good way. it’s freaky busy/successful and my biggest challenge isn’t growing and advertising, it’s balancing the growth that’s happening without me doing anything. now that i no longer have to think about ‘not drinking’, i’m focusing on getting to bed early and running. these two things (combined with not drinking) are my survival tools. I am surviving and thriving. my job #3 passion thingy is so fucking busy that i crashed for two days on the weekend, like nearly had a coma:  i just read and sat inside watching the rain.  i did run, eat well, slept well, and did nothing else. nothing. no tv. no cleaning, no food making. i did play cards with my husband and he beat me 7 out of 8 times. this morning, back to work, and it looks like it might be busier than last week. And the new client who had hired two of us to share the work? the other chick ain’t doing so hot, they let me know, so they want me to step it up a bit. a bit more. i even have to rent a car and start driving in this new wacky place. i drove today and, of course, it was fine. i’m adaptable. i can drive in foreign countries. i’m a smart, sober chick. i’ve got this covered…

but anyway, the point of this post is the CURIOUS part : )  This is becoming a monthly thing, and i look forward to it : )

I know that i lurked on a few blogs for a while before I actually quit drinking for real. I was looking for motivation and i really wanted to hear that other people had been successful at what i was contemplating/struggling with.

This blogging community really does have all that, and then some.

So here’s what i’m curious about. Can you do me a favor?

  1. Post a comment with your number of days sober.
  2. If you are an anonymous lurker, and you’re sober, you can just put Sober as your name, and then use a fake email as your email address (12345@12345.com) – tell me how many days sober. You can remain anonymous of course.
  3. If you are a lurker, and you aren’t (yet) sober but you’re looking for inspiration, you can put Hoping as your name (or whatever), and use my email as your email address (12345@12345.com). And you can pick a date when you’d like to start your sober journey (i.e. in 5 days, or november 1st, or whatever). You can remain anonymous, too.

I also sometimes forget how far along in the sober journey some of you are … so this will help me remember and help me celebrate with you.

Really, if you’re an anonymous lurker that’s totally fine! Just chime in with where you are : )

PS/ HERE’S MY GUT REFLEX: I have no proof of this and am only going on a gut feeling here, but if you are a lurker and still drinking, then by posting something anonymously, it’s like raising your hand and saying “ok, yes, i could use some support” and i think that makes a big difference in what happens next for you.  Well, if you don’t believe me, you can try posting something and see what happens : )

PPS/ I hope to hear again from “Hoping!!!” and from Jen and from NoMorePinot


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Day 10. I quit drinking last December in order to make it through a difficult time at work, I didn’t have the bandwidth for the depressive effects of alcohol. six months later the job ended, and I felt like ‘celebrating’. This blog + finally reading Alan Carr’s book (because you told me to) has me sober again. You are a wonderful writer; many, many thanks.

  • 91 chuffing days I have been hanging on on there. Reading posts, agreeing, laughing alongside you at some of the lengths you have to go through just to stay sober.
    Some days you are dying inside and have to put up with numb nuts at work. Other days you feel what you think is normal but seriously you really dont have a fucking clue cause you can’t remember what normal feels like. People say hang in there it does get better, better at what? Better…… Yep I’m in bed trying to kill off another stressful anxious day of not drinking. This is not living. I think I need a labotomy to wipe out this shit meister memory of drinking. But there is one thing I do know there is no way I am picking up a can of toxix brown bleach we call beer and resetting the clock to day 1. The desired thoughts in my head can kiss my sorry arse. Amen to that.
    Peace to you all.

  • On day 4. Your blog totally saved me from drinking today, allowing me to achieve my longest streak of sobriety in a LOOOONG time. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  • Starting tomorrow. Been drinking since freshman year of college…hubby joins me on the couch every night and we take good care of a bottle of Chardonnay for me & whiskey for him. With two small kids we have all sorts of excuses…which I am tired of making.
    Never knew other gals had the same issue as me…can’t have one. And always got to pair it w smoking…
    I am totally encouraged by your attitude and confidence. You are a huge inspiration. Please know that!! Many of us are learning from YOU!

    • you’re so sweet! thanks for the comment Melissa, can’t wait to hear how you’re doing once you begin … lots of reasons to quit, the biggest one being how AMAZING it feels on the other side…

      • You will Michele, I promise you will. It took me over a month before i began to wake up feeling as tho perhaps, mind you only Perhaps, the day might be a good one.

        Hang in there, hon, this is the hardest part. I’m here, write if you need someone to talk to. Lynda at LMI dot net

      • Hi Michele, thanks for posting! Some days do suck, and with luck and perseverance it does get easier quite quickly. the hardest part is done – you decided to quit and you started. the rest is just about gathering momentum and finding your sea legs. hugs from me to you …

    • my #3 is pretty wacky! this week is even busier than last week, which i didn’t think was possible. i’ve recruited my husband to help me. i have made some changes though, starting next week, i’m off on saturdays and sundays at least 3 out of 4 weeks per month… i need to have my weekends off except for emergencies. it’s all evolving, and i’m happy for the work!

  • I am 5 days sober. I haven’t spent a lot of time lurking though. I started blogging a few days ago and then just jumped right in desperately looking for people to connect with! Your post title is so relevant for me right now – I am actually spending more time thinking about drinking than I ever have in my life!!! I sure hope this changes with time because it is exhausting!

    • thanks for being here! it is exhausting at first. in the beginning it takes all your effort just to keep going. And you do … keep going. And then magically the gray starts to lift. and then something pretty fabulous happens. Maggie, we’ll be here to help you celebrate : )

  • If I added the numbers correctly then mine is 1,019 days. I had my sober date tattoed on my right wrist (facing me) since that was my “drinking hand”…it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. In the beginning, it was a positive reminder of how far I’d come. Now it just makes me smile and is a huge source of pride.


  • Wonderful post. I got sober in March 2004. I don’t count days, never did. I think I was scared to count days because when I had achieved a milestone I would want to celebrate—with alcohol. You all inspire me so deeply. I have dedicated my life to helping others with addiction. It is a thief of lives. It doesn’t matter how much time you have. We all only have today, one day! I need you as much as you need me. I’ve known many folks with a lot of time who were less honest then you folks with less time. Length is not an indicator of quality. Just an indicator of length. The challenge for us/me is to make today a sober day AND an awesome day. Again wonderful post. Thanks for letting me come by and comment.

  • I raise my hand and say I am in need of support! I have been reading blogs for 2 months and now I want to be the person I know is who I was meant to be. I want to look in the mirror and know who I . My sober day is Sunday October 14. I am a secret drinker and I think most people would be shocked to know I have a problem. I want to be true to myself and my family! Thanks for the encouragement on my journey to being me!

    • hey there, look at you flying along! A week is so great, i guess 8 days by now : ) i remember when i hit 9 days, it was my longest ever and i was like running-around-the-apartment excited. you will be, too!

  • Sober. 9 days. I’ve been all over the sober blogs for well over 2 years now. I rarely if ever comment because, well, I think you might know why…I’m chiming in now though. Last night was the first good sleep I’ve had in forever. Today I will not drink.

    • you rarely if ever comment cuz you’re scared that tomorrow (or later today) you might fuck it all up … but then sometimes you comment and it’s OK and you feel better and you get support. A good night’s sleep is one of the biggest positive gains for me. Today I will not drink (t00!).

  • Today is my second day on my new journey. Have enjoyed your writings for awhile now and finally decided to join in on the fun. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Day 2 🙂 i really do love it when people chime in with something less than 10 days! it’s like wowie, i’m witnessing something big here. Thanks for dropping into my blog. and for holding up your hand to be counted!

    • YAYAYAYAY !~!~! Hope it’s still going on here on what would be day 4, no? Good for you for Day 2 and Day 1–that’s where it all begins. Hugs to you as you travel this path…

  • Day 51… Well, not entirely true.. I have had 5 glasses of Chardonnay during that 51 day period. However, decided I am NOT going to restart my counting each time. That sounds like I have failed. But I don’t think I have. I used to drink 5 glasses in one night. I haven’t failed. I know everyone says moderation can’t be done for those of us who are/have been addicted. Maybe true. But I am not giving in. I guess the truth for me will be determined over time. If I somehow just end up back where I was, then I will start counting again, and I will know for sure. In the mean time, I will keep reading (can anyone recommend any more books – I just finished ‘drinking a love story’ and feel at a loss ( except for the blogs). Btw… What happened to Cleo? I miss her blog! Hope she is ok.

  • Ok, I had to go find the calculator cuz it’s been a few years and that bad boy (double checked it) said 10, 459 days. That’s a number I never thought Id live to, never mind be sober for.

    The bloggers are some of the neatest people I have found anywhere. When I quit in early 84 we had no Web, blogs, online community… I never even found AA, And yet, here we ALL are: sober or yearning or deciding or contemplating. Good to see you.

    • i really love this blogging community too, thanks for this Lynda. And thanks for sharing your number of days. Look everyone, it’s possible to be cool and funny and generous and kind and long-term-sober!

    • don’t i love a Day 1 post! honestly, it’s like a little bit of sunshine seeing your Day 1. Go, Sober, Go!

  • 88 days here belle, thanks largely to you and Cleo (who I’m missing) who got me off to a great start on this sober blogging thingy. Cheers Paul.

  • Hello, I’m an anonymous reader who has devoured your blog, soberly among several others for the last 42 days! The thought of leaving comments feels completely overwhelming, and for now I am only de- lurking long enough to say thank you for sharing your story.

    • aren’t you kind! so glad you de-lurked to chime in. you’ll see that commenting isn’t very scary, we’re all super nice (aren’t we? yeah, we are!). 42 days on your own with no commenting, but with fully developed lurking skills, is quite an accomplishment. Hope you’ll check in again soon and let me know how you’re doing!

  • I’ve done this before but I’ll do it again! 406 days sober. Sending love to you, you ‘smart sober chick’ you! Oh, by the way … what card game were you guys playing? xxx

    • thanks, it helps me to remember – i knew you just had your one year sober-versary, but now i see it’s already 41 days ago … boy time does fly! [we were playing skip-bo, which is one of the non-language-based games we play; also triominos, sequence, and we make puzzles]

  • Hoping, but not doing so hot. Thanks for asking. Rough weekend – home from work today because of a it. Drank too much Fri-Sun. I didn’t sleep well. Huge fight with hubby. I just really, really feel like crap physically & mentally. I reach out to you, Paul, Mrs. D., Cleo (!!??), Sherry and so many others out there on a regular basis just by lurking. You guys are my hope and reassurance that life could be so much better. I just need to decide whether I need to quit for good and after spending a day with my self-loathing, I think I do. It’s just hard to accept when I did so well at moderating/abstaining the month prior. I know, I know, I know…

    So glad to hear your doing so well with work/life and sobriety 🙂

    • Hey, Hoping!!!Jen, so glad to hear from you. i’m gonna write more soon about that thought process of ‘is this forever’ but in the meantime, how about just today, tomorrow and the next day? here’s to 3 good days 🙂

  • 59 days here! I am feeling good! Although I have cravings, I find I no longer want to drink at all. “Thinking through the drink” has changed that for me 🙂 I’m following the WFS pretty closely (women for sobriety for those who may not know) I’ve found their online site to be a very good source of support.

    • Thanks Mary, this is awesome! i think we all still have cravings sometimes, but then either thinking it through (or in my case, being terribly afraid of regret) keeps us going … you’re doing it, that’s all that counts. probably doesn’t really matter HOW you’re doing it!

  • I will start, i am 107 days today. i was baking with kahlua the other day, and thought about licking the spoon and then realized that i didn’t want to bother tasting it. i rinsed the spoon.

    i watched my husband have one beer on the weekend. i offered him some of the baking kahlua, he said no. He reminds me everyday how we are not alike. I would *never* have one beer and then stop. never. if someone offered me kahlua, and i’d already had a beer, i’d say yes.

    until that thought process stops, i know that i will not drink. that thought process is unlikely to stop. i am unlikely to drink again.