Here’s how I know today is a good day:
- enough sleep (woke before the alarm)
- weather is sunny and warm
- i literally forced myself to go for a run, like bending your fingernails backwards FORCED — and thankfully felt great afterwards
- had a shower in the dark (i really love this!)
- one perfect steaming cup of coffee. OK, let’s get this recorded. I am addicted to caffeine. That day without tea/coffee was shitty-ola. This day, by comparison, with coffee: it’s like the light is a bit brighter, the air a bit sweeter, the room a bit cozier. It’s like the imaginary hit from booze that never really happens. Yes, that buzz really is in coffee! One cup of coffee per day. Makes all the difference.
- the discovery that it’s probably tonic water irritating my heart thing, since the timing is nearly perfect with increased tonic water consumption and rise in symptoms. and it’s much easier to give up tonic water than coffee/tea! Amen!
- four new requests from clients for my passion job #3 thingy, and then we’re away for another long weekend.
- i love vacations. I need more of them. I say this all the time. One long weekend a month! October’s is coming in 4 days!
And i went to the get supplies this morning, and went to a store far away that i’ve been putting off for (i don’t know) 5 weeks. then, just like that, it’s done and i can cross it off my list. All is well in this part of my world.
And I do adore the fact that — after my near-miss drinking feelings on Saturday — once i got through it and went to bed, it’s like it never happened and the days after are ‘normal’. Once i’ve kicked the wolf in the face, and once i go to bed, the next day it’s like it never happened and i’m back in my sober car again just tooling along, busy, happy, productive. And now that i have my tea back, all is well. What a stupid idea giving up caffeine. What was i thinking…