i don’t believe in colds

this is as brave as i am.

while i haven’t changed the theme for this blog, I am brave enough to change the fonts.  I really hate small fonts (i’m old! i can’t see!) and much prefer serif fonts. OK, i’m not as brave as BBB but advancing, slowly.  i’m not as patient as RoS (Christy), but i’m learning by example.

As i sit here in my desk chair, cup of coffee consumed, cereal eaten (not the best of breakfasts, but i did have a half an apple alongside) … I am facing a long work day. All three of my jobs are going to require something from me today. i didn’t sleep quite enough (husband awake with a cold, he can sleep again quickly whereas i cannot).

I don’t believe in colds, so i won’t be participating in his event.

my big new contract for my passion/job #3 thingy, i delivered the first part of the work yesterday and went by the space in the afternoon. Upon arriving, i found out that they DID hire someone else in addition to me, so there we both were, side by side, looking at each other … and i’m thinking: “oh, this isn’t an exclusive gig for ME?”

At first i was disappointed, then relieved. This means I won’t have to do all the work myself. this job will not overtake my life. i can share the load with someone else.

And when i came home there were two more requests for work from other smaller clients.  As predicted, once I announced to the rest of my clients that i’d scored this big new gig, they’re all excited now to work with me even more. So even if the big gig eventually phases me out, the side-effects are already being felt among my existing clients.

well, what am i trying to say here? (as Paul would say, i’m “rabbiting” on …)

i’m trying to say that my perceived value has increased simply by announcing the big new job … and i can continue to reap these benefits EVEN if they don’t keep me, even if they eventually phase me out, even if i share the work with someone else, even if i eventually back away from the workload … my other clients are like “oh, do you have room for me this week? can i see you? yes of course 7 pm on Friday is convenient for me”).

So, you see, it’s all good.  Even if they eventually don’t need me anymore.  It’s all good.  This is my (frustrating to some) attitude of the glass is half-full in grand display.

and today, even though i’m a bit tired, and maybe a bit sniffly, and today even though the weather has dramatically changed this week, and it’s dark and stormy… today i will work away on cleaning and puttering and preparing for my appointments.  i will listen to fascinating podcasts, and i will be patient, and in-advance. i will answer outstanding emails and clear off my voice mail.  Today i will run and shower and dry my hair (!).  Today, on not quite enough sleep, i will work hard to have a very good day. Starting with another cup of coffee in my favorite mug.  It’s all good.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • It’s really funny the way things work out, isn’t it? This job, no matter what happens, which you took a big risk to take on, which stressed you out in the perceived amount of work it would cause, is now making you more desirable in the eyes of other clients and is possibly not going to be AS stressful as you’d thought because of the additional person. Sounds like things really are moving in a positive direction- even if it was hard to see that in the middle of “the storm.”

    See what I did there? One could say that this whole “life” thing is one big storm that doesn’t make a lot of sense while we are going through it… But… Everything is lining up and setting up for the positive, for things we can’t even imagine or see right now in our storm. We just have to be patient, just like in a long run or in an 18 week training plan… Patience, dedication and faith.

    I really love seeing your transformation Belle. Nothing adolescent about this post at all.

    xx Christy

    • yes, i realized that this was all working out for the best as soon as i walked in there yesterday and saw the situation. there’s no storm here, things are very calm and lovely in fact. everything has been positive for awhile with me … periodic rainy days, but all is well … the glass is almost always half-full for me, no matter what happens… not sure what you mean by adolescent, but thanks : ) I think : )

      • Just making a joke about how you said “yeah, but still was an adolescent response” to my post the other day.

        And storm was just a metaphor for life. Not that you were having a storm.

        Sometimes I’m not very funny, or sometimes my meaning doesn’t convey well, or sometimes and quite often it is both.

        Just know it was a positive comment, and I am very happy for you and how well you are doing. I need to just not talk so much sometimes.

      • you’re hilarious, it’s just that i couldn’t figure out what you were talking about : ) i knew you were being positive, i just couldn’t figure out the context! “yeah, but still …”

      • My MO for so long was to just confuse the other person so they would get frustrated and leave me alone to drink in peace.

        Old habits die hard, at least the confusion aspect. I’m working on it though. Focus, focus, focus. 🙂

  • Love the sentiment “it’s all good” but especially when I really feel it. That’s a great place to be. You sound like you’re in a really good place, despite husband-colds and work stress and nasty weather. I always admire and appreciate your strength and ability to stay positive.

  • How funny, I am sitting here at the kitchen counter with my coffee and cup of cereal starting the day like you!

    Two thoughts.

    Re: the sniffles> have you tried Emergen-C? It is one of those 1000mg of vitamin C, 24 nutrients with 7 B vitamins. I tried the zinc things when they came out a few years ago and they didn’t do much to ward off the sniffles but this product does seem to work. (Funny, I have read that some people use if to help with hangovers : )

    “So even if the big gig eventually phases me out”
    “EVEN if they don’t keep me”
    “even if they eventually phase me out
    “Even if they eventually don’t need me anymore”

    Why, on the first day of your work being displayed, are you thinking they are not going to keep using your services? They sought you out. They hired you. They put your services on display. It appears they WANT YOU! Embrace and enjoy your wonderful accomplishment!

    I hope you have a perfect day, running, cleaning, clearing, listening and puttering.

    • thanks for this… really i wasn’t trying to be debbie downer, and i’m trying to be anonymous and discretely hide what’s actually going on here, but obviously i’ve left out too much! Once I went there yesterday and saw myself next to the other person they hired, i realized that she was a much better fit for them than i was, and that people were crowded around her stuff and not mine. yes, it was day #1 and things will change. She may become unavailable. Their needs may increase. But as i instantly realized would happen, the company has already cancelled the second half of my week’s deliverables this morning by email. I guess that’s what i saw as soon as i walked in there yesterday. That even when the co. decides not to continue with me (which I knew they were going to do), it’s actually just fine, and in some ways it’s better : ) It made my little clients like me more. I can manage my time better with many little clients versus one big client, and … and well the other chick’s stuff is a better fit than my stuff.

      • Ahhh…….so you were turning this into a postive. Good for you. As we all know, so often from the clouds come those great silver linings.

        I love your clarification: “the other chick’s stuff is a better fit then my stuff”. The word “fit” being key.