Who would you be if you were already ‘enough’? what would you do if money and talent were not an obstacle?
The big contract for my third job/passion thingy has begun. i worked hard yesterday to be ready and just delivered the first installment this morning. I will go by the space later this afternoon to see how it’s looking, and to be onsite for questions, instruction, and brainstorming. Yes, i did work a long day yesterday, but i also ran, read, and ate relatively healthy food including homemade vegetable soup. in fact, on my tuesday weigh-in, i am down 2.2 lbs from July 1st, so that’s not too shabby. It means that the reliance on cake is waning somewhat. I was also in bed last night by 9:30 pm, asleep by 10 pm. My life is much improved by getting enough sleep. this might be the key to all of life’s problems… at least for me, at least for today.
if i was already enough, i’d (honestly) stop (entirely) one of my three jobs … job #2. My work there is fragmented, clients never hear from me unless i’m trying to sell them something, and i don’t know what i’m delivering half the time, it’s not a good match of my skills + their needs. it’s like i have to keep convincing them that they need me. instead of finding people who ‘do’ need my services, and selling to them instead.
this is a light bulb moment.
forgive me if i stop here. for a moment.
god, this is why i continue to blog. so that i can explain things TO MYSELF. (It’s great if someone else is aided by my ramblings, but please forgive the gigantic belly-button-gazing-self-centered nature of today’s post.)
here it is: stop trying to convince the world that they need bandaids for their worms (they don’t, and you’ll spend such a long time trying to convince them that they DO). stop trying to convince the world that they need a new pink handbag (they don’t, and stop buying so much fucking stuff anyway). stop trying to convince the world that they should pay you to help them get up off the couch (whey they’re ready to get off the couch, they’ll find YOU). stop trying to convince people to buy this broccoli instead of that broccoli (because really, they just want oreos; find a way to sell healthy homemade-with-love oreos and just be done with it).
i would never have figured this out if i wasn’t sober. when drinking, i was on a treadmill of job 1, job 2. i was just getting through the day. now there’s actually time and energy to THINK about things.
now that i’ve mixed metaphors so much that you can’t follow me at all, let me say this:
Dear Belle. As of today, stop wasting energy trying to sell things to people who don’t want them. Stop trying to convince anyone of anything. If they want oreos instead of carrots, then sell them oreos. And if you find oreos personally repelling, then just look away and do something else.
Business advice often heard: “Where should you set up a hotdog stand? In front of a bunch of hungry hotdog eaters.” i never really understood this it until today. until right now, this minute. i’ve just delivered a big job to my job #3/passion/thingy and i realize that it’s the easiest work i’ve ever done. there’s a huge market for it and i can barely keep up. {DUH! WAKE UP CHICKY BABY}
Note to self. Try again. Dear Belle. You’re getting distracted. Listen here:
Sell to people who WANT to buy your stuff. Stop trying to convince anyone of anything.
(the parallels with *real* life, of course, are evident. stop trying to convince people that they need to change, just be you. be you as much as you can. do your thing with love and care. oh my god i know understand the fucking 1970s touchy-feely-hippie book title: do what you love and the money will follow … oh. my. god.)
Goodness…
exactly why I blog too…..
i get it out and figure it out.
Or figure it out and share it (as if anyone cares! Hah!)
And without sobriety….nada, none of it.
LOVE this !
michele
That was a great revelation. Sometimes people don’t know what they want though. In the past, it was my job to help them figure it out. Now I think I’d be happier if I just let others decide on their own or stay on the couch as long as they want. It’s not worth the negative impact.
Huh. (yes lots of inner dialogue going on but I am going to follow my own advice and just shut up). Thank you for the post.
you’re right. lots of people don’t know what they want, and i do spend a lot of time trying to help people decide. it’s just exhausting. i’m glad i now have job #3 to interject now and then, where it’s strictly a question of supply and demand (and there’s lots of demand). i guess i’m tired of TRYING so hard. it’s easier some days just to put your head down and do physical work. my #3 job is quite a bit like farming: work, sow, replant, repeat. Let it rest, pack it up, ship it off. meet clients face to face, see their faces, hear their suggestions, start again.
“i would never have figured this out if i wasn’t sober.”
Amazing isn’t it, what wonders we discover once the alcohol is removed. It is one of the things I continue to look forward to sobriety, some small some huge.
Love Mrs D comments as well. Perfectly stated by both of you.
Loving it. Love it. Love the slow reveal of the wonders sobriety can bring. Love that you are fully committed and here and sharing it clearly with us so we can reap the benefits of witnessing what subtle changes can occur when the wine is taken away, slowly slowly some of them (after the immediate ones like no hangovers or sick guts or guilt). Love all of it! xxxx
In reading this post and then your last, I was going to comment that I want oreos and please just sell me some oreos, they don’t even have to be healthy ones. And then I saw what you wrote about missing cake, but life without it is better. You gave me something to noodle through with regard to my sometimes ridiculous cravings for sweets, which never make me feel all that good. So yes, please get to work on healthy oreos 😉