helping me to ‘be’ good

i’m enjoying rereading my journal from 2004, it’s quite entertaining, especially my thoughts pre-husband, when i was single for such a long time. In February 2004, I was doing a week without TV and without reading, and here’s a bit of my thought process, seems to fit today:

“It’s a transition, so some parts are harder than others, it’s about feeling uncomfortable temporarily. If we always want to feel good, then we’d stay well in from the edges of life so that nothing ever sticks us. Or [we can choose] a short-term discomfort for a longer-term gain. It’s not about helping me to ‘feel’ good, it’s helping me to ‘be’ good.” (Feb 24, 2004).

hope you’re having an easy day. good food. a laugh or two.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Well there you are. Wisdom from your younger self. Always so interesting to see how much we already know. Sounds like you are in a good place today. I am so pleased. I am too. xx

    • i’m always in a good place in the morning … last night i was so irritated i took the bottle of white wine out of the fridge (that’s been there for 6 weeks) and hid it in a bag near hot water heater. mornings are good. some evenings just have to be endured …

      • Well that wine next to the heater is going to go off pretty quickly. Might as well chuck it now. Deserves to be in the bin anyway all the toruble its given us! I agree about mornings. Especially Saturday mornings – my best!

  • “Or [we can choose] a short-term discomfort for a longer-term gain”. So true in the sober life. For me, a lot of the (re)learning is to do with consequences. Stop the immediate gratification and focus on the long-term goal.
    Sometimes we don’t know what we already know. I’m finding that out every day.

      • All good thanks, lovely. Nice quiet week, working out lots, not much energy for anything else! Sleeping a solid 8-9 hours and generally feeling my body recover. Not thinking about drinking/not drinking so not much to say on my blog. It’s nice to not have all that chitter-chatter in my head : )

      • I’m making the most of it. The memory of the intensity of my day 41 craving is still with me though. No pink clouds, just a relatively quiet head. Thoughtful. It’s nice.